¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

¡°I thought the invention of the mobile phone was to save our time & money, be we are doing exactly t

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*Á¶
2021-03-22 3154

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I agree with the quote. Because people do things that takes a lot of time like sending letters to another country, going country to country. Mobile phone reduced time. It connected people. So people can do works by some touches.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your corrected homework, Kai!

Cheers,
Jean~~



I agree with the quote. Because people do things that takes a lot of time like sending letters to another country, going country to country.
>> I agree with the quote because people do things that take a lot of time, such as sending letters to another country, going country to country, and so on.

 Mobile phone reduced time. It connected people. So people can do works by some touches.
>>  Mobile phones reduce time. They connect people. So people can do their work by some getting in touch with each other. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107770 [04/19]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-04-21 0
107769 HOMEWORK ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-21 4
107768 How can we minimize bullying? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-04-21 4
107767 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-21 634
107766 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-21 5
107765 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-21 0
107764 Spring ÁÖ*³ª ¿Ï·á 2021-04-21 3
107763 How can we minimize bullying? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-21 1
107762 Make a sentence using the words below ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-21 3313
107761 What is a family ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-21 668
107760 What is on your bucket list? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-21 1
107759 Do you like meeting new people? ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-21 610
107758 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-21 1
107757 Lunar eclipse is~ ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-04-21 641
107756 What is on your bucket list? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-21 599
107755 Writing Sample Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-21 681
107754 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-21 618
107753 Summer vacation. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-21 2
107752 Is it healthy to eat eggs everyday? ½Å*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-21 571
107751 What can you say about requiring all women to attend the... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-21 755

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04