¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

¡°I thought the invention of the mobile phone was to save our time & money, be we are doing exactly t

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*Á¶
2021-03-22 3136

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I agree with the quote. Because people do things that takes a lot of time like sending letters to another country, going country to country. Mobile phone reduced time. It connected people. So people can do works by some touches.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your corrected homework, Kai!

Cheers,
Jean~~



I agree with the quote. Because people do things that takes a lot of time like sending letters to another country, going country to country.
>> I agree with the quote because people do things that take a lot of time, such as sending letters to another country, going country to country, and so on.

 Mobile phone reduced time. It connected people. So people can do works by some touches.
>>  Mobile phones reduce time. They connect people. So people can do their work by some getting in touch with each other. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107624 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-17 0
107623 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-17 0
107622 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-17 0
107621 Homework(4.16) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-04-17 576
107620 COMPOSITION º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-17 3
107619 What gift would you like to receive? And why. ½Å*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 776
107618 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 4
107617 Homework (264) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 664
107616 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 544
107615 The top five most-watched sports in the world! ¿À*¸° ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 581
107614 Why do hospitals or hotels hire nutritionists? Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 596
107613 The best memory I have in school ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 687
107612 homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 2
107611 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 577
107610 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 5
107609 Watching TV ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 878
107608 The rudeness ÁÖ*³ª ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 4
107607 What would you like to invent if you become an inventor? ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 492
107606 Hiking is good at our mental health. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 615
107605 How much does the weekend mean to you? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 713

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04