¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

¡°I thought the invention of the mobile phone was to save our time & money, be we are doing exactly t

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*Á¶
2021-03-22 3089

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I agree with the quote. Because people do things that takes a lot of time like sending letters to another country, going country to country. Mobile phone reduced time. It connected people. So people can do works by some touches.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your corrected homework, Kai!

Cheers,
Jean~~



I agree with the quote. Because people do things that takes a lot of time like sending letters to another country, going country to country.
>> I agree with the quote because people do things that take a lot of time, such as sending letters to another country, going country to country, and so on.

 Mobile phone reduced time. It connected people. So people can do works by some touches.
>>  Mobile phones reduce time. They connect people. So people can do their work by some getting in touch with each other. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106678 Tell me something about your hometown. Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 3442
106677 homework ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 5604
106676 [03/12]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 2
106675 Do you think it would be a good idea to have 3 days worth of... Á¤*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 2
106674 Homework (243) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 4176
106673 What do you think will happen if your country is overpopulated? ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 4442
106672 Why do you think people of all ages like watching cartoons? Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 3921
106671 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 2
106670 [03/11]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 1
106669 fortnite season 6 ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 4173
106668 writing: dinoursours Á¶*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 3
106667 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 3187
106666 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 3230
106665 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 4649
106664 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 3230
106663 h Àå*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 6
106662 My homework ¡Æ¡ä¡Æ À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 0
106661 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 0
106660 HOMEWORK °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 3462
106659 Which do you like better, eating meat or vegetables? Why? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 4310

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04