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Advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad

작성자: 정*성
2021-03-23 4493

회원님의 영작문

Studying abroad is a subject that has aroused considerable debate. There are, however, a number of benefits to be derived from studying abroad. In this essay, both of points of view will be discussed, before a conclusion is reached.

There are a number of reasons why studying abroad. Firstly, studying abroad is good for education their children since they can learn second language and experience various cultures. secondly, the students can get many opportunities when they choose a job. As a result, studying oversea has a lot of benefit to students.

Nevertheless, there are many arguments against studying abroad. Most important problem is the cost. Studying abroad is too much expensive. Also lots of father makes money in Korea and other family stay in oversea. Therefore, the family may not to be harmonious.

In conclusion, there are both arguments for and against studying abroad. However, I believe advantages of studying abroad are more benefit than disadvantages.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good afternoon sir Andy. Thanks for sharing your opinion regarding this topic. I appreciate it. Your sentences are so good. I hope you can do that in the IELTS exam. ^_^
T. Irene
Studying abroad is a subject that has aroused considerable debate. 
>>> Correct.
OR
>>> Studying abroad is a subject that has aroused considerable numbers of debates. 
There are, however, a number of benefits to be derived from studying abroad. 
>>> Correct.
In this essay, both of points of view will be discussed, before a conclusion is reached.
>>> In this essay, both points of view will be discussed, before a conclusion is reached.
There are a number of reasons why studying abroad. 
>>> There are a number of reasons why studying abroad is beneficial. 
Firstly, studying abroad is good for education their children since they can learn second language and experience various cultures. 
>>> Firstly, studying abroad is good for the education of their children since they can learn a second language and experience various cultures. 
secondly, the students can get many opportunities when they choose a job. 
>>> Secondly, the students can get many opportunities when they are choosing a job. 
As a result, studying overseas has a lot of benefit to students.
>>> Correct.
OR
>>>  As a result, studying overseas has a lot of benefit for students.
Nevertheless, there are many arguments against studying abroad. 
>>> Correct.
Most important problem is the cost. 
>>> The most important problem is the cost.
Studying abroad is too [much ] expensive. 
>>> Correct.
Also lots of father makes money in Korea and other family stay in oversea. 
>>> Also, lots of fathers make/earn money  in Korea while the other family members live overseas. 
Therefore, the family may not to be harmonious.
>>> Therefore, the family may not be harmonious/well-bounded.
In conclusion, there are both arguments for and against studying abroad. 
>>> Correct.
However, I believe advantages of studying abroad are more benefit than disadvantages.
>>> However, I believe there are more advantages of studying abroad  than disadvantages.

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