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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at us to buy things. Other people think tha

작성자: 정*원
2021-03-23 3600

회원님의 영작문

Some people believe that advertising is crucial to encourage customers to buy things. Other say that advertising is not anymore important to choose products. Because it is too standard. I believe that advertising significantly roles in persuading customers to buy something.
First of all, advertising gives us many information about products which we want to buy. We need to check several important things such as price, design, function, and guarantee when we shop something. Advertising help us to make decision more smart and easy. For example, when I buy a lab top, I need to know which model is suit for me even though I am not good at mechanic. In that case, advertising is very helpful for choosing one which is adaptable for me. In the other hand, it is believed that we don't have to pay attention to advertising when we shop something because it is too usual. Advertising company makes various advertising to persuade customers efficiently. Sometimes the company runs out their ideas

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good evening once again Young Won!

You have very good arguments here on your essay about advertising. To further your discussion, advertising is also very important to introduce or repackage the product. 

Marketing a product in a vast sea of competing products is a must as a business without a sign is a sign of no business.

Thank you for sending this promptly.

Kindly go over the suggestions below and study them carefully.

See you in class!

-T. Donna =)

Some people believe that advertising is crucial to encourage customers to buy things. 
>> Correct!

Other say that advertising is not anymore important to choose products. Because it is too standard. 
>> Others say that advertising is not anymore important to choose products because it is too standard. 

I believe that advertising significantly roles in persuading customers to buy something.
>> I believe that advertising plays a significant role in persuading customers to buy something.

First of all, advertising gives us many information about products which we want to buy. 
>> Correct!

We need to check several important things such as price, design, function, and guarantee when we shop something. 
>> Correct!

Advertising help us to make decision more smart and easy. 
>> Advertising helps us to make decisions smarter and easier. 

For example, when I buy a lab top, I need to know which model is suit for me even though I am not good at mechanic. 
>> For example, when I buy a lap top, I need to know which model suits me even though I am not good at specifications. 

In that case, advertising is very helpful for choosing one which is adaptable for me. In the other hand, it is believed that we don't have to pay attention to advertising when we shop something because it is too usual. 
>> Correct!
Or: On the other hand...

Advertising company makes various advertising to persuade customers efficiently. 
>> Advertising companies make various advertisements to persuade customers efficiently. 

Sometimes the company runs out their ideas to compromise their products. 
>> Sometimes the company runs out of their ideas to campaign for their products. 

Thus , advertising has to be obvious due to a plenty of similar products in the world. 
>> Correct!

In conclusion, even if advertising is standard and usual, we can get useful information from advertising and be persuaded to buy, when we don't have enoug time to compare to many similar products. 
>> Correct!
Or: enough (SPELLING)

I strongly believe that advertising extremely roles in encouraging customers to buy things.
>> I strongly believe that advertising extremely plays a  huge role in encouraging customers to buy things.
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