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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

homework

작성자: 권*원
2021-03-24 3482

회원님의 영작문

(I couldn’t read the news because the URL address disappeared. Therefore I just guessed the news and answered the question.)

1. I disagree with this opinion. Korean foreign minister is a woman who is heavier than 50kg but she isn’t lazy rather she is a shrewd person.
I think self-discipline is more related to personality than weight.

2. If women have body anxiety to meet the standards of beauty, I want to say ‘Don’t mind it’.
In fact, anywhere in the world, women have body anxiety because most women have been evaluated for their appearance since they were young.
It was taken for granted for women to have a pretty face and slim body.
Wearing a makeup when women become an adult is a natural thing in the world.
But we should note that it is only imposed on women not men.
Women care too much about their appearance because of a social atmosphere.
To improve human right of woman, we should don’t mind our appearance.
It is time to stub out double standards.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Cleo! Your answer was informative. I guess you are good at guessing! I love how you explain your opinions. Keep it up!-Faith-
(I couldn’t read the news because the URL address disappeared. 
>> CORRECT 
Therefore I just guessed the news and answered the question.)
>> CORRECT 
1. I disagree with this opinion. 
>> CORRECT 
OR I see eye to eye with the writer.
Korean foreign minister is a woman who is heavier than 50kg but she isn’t lazy rather she is a shrewd person.
>> The Korean foreign minister is a woman who is heavier than 50kg but she isn’t lazy rather she is a shrewd person.
I think self-discipline is more related to personality than weight.
>> CORRECT 
2. If women have body anxiety to meet the standards of beauty, I want to say ‘Don’t mind it’.
>> If women have body anxiety to meet the standards of beauty, I want to say, ‘Don’t mind it!’
In fact, anywhere in the world, women have body anxiety because most women have been evaluated for their appearance since they were young.
>> In fact, anywhere in the world, women have body anxiety because most women have been evaluated by their appearance since they were young.
It was taken for granted for women to have a pretty face and slim body.
>> The standard of the society is to see women with pretty face and slim body.
Wearing a makeup when women become an adult is a natural thing in the world.
>> Women wearing makeup is a natural thing in the world.
But we should note that it is only imposed on women not men.
>> But we should note that it is only imposed on women not on men.
Women care too much about their appearance because of a social atmosphere.
>> Women care too conscious about their appearance because of the social custom.
To improve human right of woman, we should don’t mind our appearance
>> To improve women rights, we should not mind our appearance too much.
It is time to stub out double standards.
>> CORRECT
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01
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02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

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