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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Imagine that you are giving someone advice about how to gain confidence when meeting new people. Wha

작성자: 권*원
2021-03-25 2345

회원님의 영작문

People are judged according to their behavior.
Therefore, although you don't have a confidence, you should act a person who has a confidence because first impression is an important factor.
I suggest you some characteristics of people who have confidence.
First, they use an appropriate eye contact. Eye contact is a sign that I am concentrating on your talk and expresses how much people have confidence in their conversation's topic.
Second, use confident body language. Squaring our shoulder shows that we have confidence about our conversation.
Third, think positively. Consider yourselves as a trustworthy person. If you don't believe yourselves, everyone will consider you as a faithless person. Trust and encourage yourselves.
I think meeting new people is awkward thing to everyone. But if we act like a person who has confidence, at some point we can speak smoothly in front of people we first met. Accordingly, ‘Please believe yourselves!’

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Cleo! You made an excellent job! Everything was right! I feel like after reading it, I would be more confident. Thank you so much for the tips!-Faith-
People are judged according to their behavior.
>> CORRECT
Therefore, although you don't have a confidence, you should act a person who has a confidence because first impression is an important factor.
>> Therefore, although you don't have confidence, you should act like a person who has confidence because a first impression is an important factor.
I suggest you some characteristics of people who have confidence.
>> I would like to suggest some characteristics to make a person confident:
First, they use an appropriate eye contact. 
>> First, you should use an appropriate eye contact. 
Eye contact is a sign that I am concentrating on your talk and expresses how much people have confidence in their conversation's topic.
>> Eye contact is a sign that you are concentrating on your talk and expresses how confident you are about the conversation topic.
Second, use confident body language. 
>> Second, use confident body languages. 
Squaring our shoulders shows that we have confidence about our conversation.
>> Squaring our shoulders shows that we have confidence about our conversation.
Third, think positively. 
>> CORRECT
OR Third, be optimistic.
Consider yourselves as a trustworthy person.
>> Consider yourself as a trustworthy person.
If you don't believe yourselves, everyone will consider you as a faithless person. 
>> If you don't believe in yourself, everyone will consider you as a faithless person. 
Trust and encourage yourselves.
>> Trust and encourage yourself.
I think meeting new people is awkward thing to everyone. 
>> I think meeting new people is an awkward thing for everyone. 
But if we act like a person who has confidence, at some point we can speak smoothly in front of people we first met. 
>> But, if you act like a person who has confidence, at some point you can speak smoothly in front of people you first met. 
Accordingly, ‘Please believe yourselves!’
>> Accordingly, ‘Please believe in yourself!’
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