¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think violence is needed to discipline a child?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ø
2021-03-25 2380

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

No, I don¡¯t. I think violence is not allow in anyway. Parents should teach their child so sometimes they need to discipline them. But I think violence is bad for child. It might cause some problem when they growing up. They can also become violent people in the future. So, I think violence is bot needed to discipline a child.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Heidi! I think the Asian culture is used to using violence when it comes to disciplining their children but this has to end already. Violence is never the key.  We should be very patient with children because they are bound to make mistakes as they are growing up. That's why I think good communication relationship is very important :) I agree with your answer. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!


No, I don¡¯t. I think violence is not allow in anyway. 
>>No, I don¡¯t think so. I think violence should not be allowed in anyway. 

Parents should teach their child so sometimes they need to discipline them. 
>>Parents should teach their children so sometimes they need to discipline them but violence is not the answer. 

But I think violence is bad for child. 
>>CONNECT WITH THE SENTENCE ABOVE. 

It might cause some problem when they growing up. 
>>It might cause some problems when they grow up. 

They can also become violent people in the future.
>> CORRECT

 So, I think violence is bot needed to discipline a child.
>>  So, I think violence is not needed to discipline a child.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107309 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 4
107308 What is your favorite TV program? Why? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 1099
107307 If you\'ll get a chance to join a contest, what contest would it... ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 708
107306 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 2
107305 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 4
107304 going school Á¤*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 637
107303 Have Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 518
107302 SMILE ANSWER º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 537
107301 Does your happiness change during different times of the day,... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 0
107300 What do you think is more \"important\" for you in your work -... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 0
107299 Why do companies advertise in your country? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 0
107298 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 1
107297 Homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 3
107296 draft of contract ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 693
107295 How well has your country handled the pandemic compared to other... º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 1
107294 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 611
107293 Describe an unexpected event that you had. Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 582
107292 homework_21.04.06 ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 4
107291 What do you like to do at the sea? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 462
107290 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04