¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think violence is needed to discipline a child?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ø
2021-03-25 2454

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

No, I don¡¯t. I think violence is not allow in anyway. Parents should teach their child so sometimes they need to discipline them. But I think violence is bad for child. It might cause some problem when they growing up. They can also become violent people in the future. So, I think violence is bot needed to discipline a child.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Heidi! I think the Asian culture is used to using violence when it comes to disciplining their children but this has to end already. Violence is never the key.  We should be very patient with children because they are bound to make mistakes as they are growing up. That's why I think good communication relationship is very important :) I agree with your answer. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!


No, I don¡¯t. I think violence is not allow in anyway. 
>>No, I don¡¯t think so. I think violence should not be allowed in anyway. 

Parents should teach their child so sometimes they need to discipline them. 
>>Parents should teach their children so sometimes they need to discipline them but violence is not the answer. 

But I think violence is bad for child. 
>>CONNECT WITH THE SENTENCE ABOVE. 

It might cause some problem when they growing up. 
>>It might cause some problems when they grow up. 

They can also become violent people in the future.
>> CORRECT

 So, I think violence is bot needed to discipline a child.
>>  So, I think violence is not needed to discipline a child.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105827 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 0
105826 The best gift to our parents is letter. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1101
105825 How many languages can you speak? How will you use English in... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1081
105824 Why do you think that there are a lot of people who like to go... °û*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1071
105823 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1074
105822 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1191
105821 What kind of exercise would you like to try doing? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1133
105820 Friday ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 995
105819 What is something that is not yet existing but you want to be... ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1
105818 The most important thing in a relationship À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1
105817 Privacy Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1
105816 Homework: Àü*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 0
105815 Where would I recommend others to see in Korea ½É*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1
105814 Homework: Àü*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1
105813 Homework: Àü*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1
105812 homework ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1051
105811 Homework: Àü*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 2
105810 If your life was in danger, who would you call and why? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1
105809 What basketball teams do you follow? What is interesting about... Á¤*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 956
105808 02.19 Fri. About living. È«*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 7

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04