¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. Wh

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ø
2021-03-25 2363

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Some people believe that children can accomplish anything if they endeavor hard, Giving children this message makes advantages and disadvantages while they are growing up. It can help children achieve their goal or give them a big stress which resulted in a defensive attitude. People encourage their children to set a high goal and say that they can do anything if they do their best. This is effective way for raising children because positive attitude is first step to do something. For example, when I was young, I was not good at running. Whenever I avoid to run at school, my mother always cheer me up with telling that I can run fast if I endeavor. Thus, when I graduated elementary school, I became a runner represented for my class. From that experience, I could have an ambitious attitude, and this is really helpful for doing my work. Otherwise, some children can feel a big pressure from parents' saying which is they can achieve anything if they do their best. Depending on children's

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Young Won!

This is a very appropriate topic for you. You wrote it very well and gave specific examples. Great job!

See you in a short while.

-T. Donna =)

Some people believe that children can accomplish anything if they endeavor hard, 
>> Correct!
Or: End with a period.

Giving children this message makes advantages and disadvantages while they are growing up. 
>> Correct!

It can help children achieve their goal or give them a big stress which resulted in a defensive attitude. 
>> It can help children achieve their goal or give them a big stress which can result in a defensive attitude. 

People encourage their children to set a high goal and say that they can do anything if they do their best. 
>> Correct!

This is effective way for raising children because positive attitude is first step to do something. 
>> This is an effective way of raising children because positive attitude is the first step to do something. 

For example, when I was young, I was not good at running. 
>> Correct!

Whenever I avoid to run at school, my mother always cheer me up with telling that I can run fast if I endeavor. 
>> Whenever I avoid to run at school, my mother always cheers me up telling that I can run fast if I endeavor doing it. 

Thus, when I graduated elementary school, I became a runner represented for my class. 
>> Thus, when I graduated in my elementary school, I became a runner and represented my class. 

From that experience, I could have an ambitious attitude, and this is really helpful for doing my work. 
>> Correct!

Otherwise, some children can feel a big pressure from parents' saying which is they can achieve anything if they do their best. 
>> Otherwise, some children can feel a big pressure from parents' saying that they can achieve anything if they do their best. 

Depending on children's
>> To be continued...
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108780 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 674
108779 How do you welcome your new neighbor to your community? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 704
108778 Homewokr ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 602
108777 Homewokr ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 966
108776 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 581
108775 Home work(5.21) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 753
108774 Cultures and traditions are different in each country so what... ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 651
108773 Do you think the past was better than the present? Why or why... ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 575
108772 Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 552
108771 Cultures and traditions are different in each country so what... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 0
108770 What are the positive impacts of the COVID-19 pandemic? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 0
108769 My favorite golf. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 1
108768 Are Koreans good at managing stress? À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 773
108767 Have you ever seen someone \"walked out\" in a meeting because... À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 695
108766 What part of your country would you ideally like to live in? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 1
108765 What do you think makes \"A house\" into \"A home\"? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 1
108764 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 695
108763 What are the benefits of traveling? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 1110
108762 Wrongfully convicted US brothers who spent 31 years in prison to... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 1
108761 Homework ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-05-22 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04