¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. Wh

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ø
2021-03-25 2248

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Some people believe that children can accomplish anything if they endeavor hard, Giving children this message makes advantages and disadvantages while they are growing up. It can help children achieve their goal or give them a big stress which resulted in a defensive attitude. People encourage their children to set a high goal and say that they can do anything if they do their best. This is effective way for raising children because positive attitude is first step to do something. For example, when I was young, I was not good at running. Whenever I avoid to run at school, my mother always cheer me up with telling that I can run fast if I endeavor. Thus, when I graduated elementary school, I became a runner represented for my class. From that experience, I could have an ambitious attitude, and this is really helpful for doing my work. Otherwise, some children can feel a big pressure from parents' saying which is they can achieve anything if they do their best. Depending on children's

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Young Won!

This is a very appropriate topic for you. You wrote it very well and gave specific examples. Great job!

See you in a short while.

-T. Donna =)

Some people believe that children can accomplish anything if they endeavor hard, 
>> Correct!
Or: End with a period.

Giving children this message makes advantages and disadvantages while they are growing up. 
>> Correct!

It can help children achieve their goal or give them a big stress which resulted in a defensive attitude. 
>> It can help children achieve their goal or give them a big stress which can result in a defensive attitude. 

People encourage their children to set a high goal and say that they can do anything if they do their best. 
>> Correct!

This is effective way for raising children because positive attitude is first step to do something. 
>> This is an effective way of raising children because positive attitude is the first step to do something. 

For example, when I was young, I was not good at running. 
>> Correct!

Whenever I avoid to run at school, my mother always cheer me up with telling that I can run fast if I endeavor. 
>> Whenever I avoid to run at school, my mother always cheers me up telling that I can run fast if I endeavor doing it. 

Thus, when I graduated elementary school, I became a runner represented for my class. 
>> Thus, when I graduated in my elementary school, I became a runner and represented my class. 

From that experience, I could have an ambitious attitude, and this is really helpful for doing my work. 
>> Correct!

Otherwise, some children can feel a big pressure from parents' saying which is they can achieve anything if they do their best. 
>> Otherwise, some children can feel a big pressure from parents' saying that they can achieve anything if they do their best. 

Depending on children's
>> To be continued...
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107510 What was the most beneficial sight you have ever seen? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 657
107509 Fill in the blanks. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 614
107508 Do you prefer digital photography or film photography? What¡¯s... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 1
107507 Is homeschooling an effective method of education? Why or why... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 698
107506 Yes! It\'s okay! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 597
107505 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 537
107504 My morning prayer every day.(2/2) ±è*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 677
107503 My morning prayer every day. (1/2) ±è*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 633
107502 If can be born again, what kind of life would you like to have... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 0
107501 homework_21.04.13 ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 1
107500 L... ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 1
107499 If you could give the leader of your country some advice, what... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 2
107498 SMILE ANSWER º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 634
107497 Write some sentences about your thoughts on where it is best to... ¿À*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 687
107496 Homwork ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 2
107495 Why is English fluency significant for you? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 0
107494 What are some good party manners? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 1
107493 What benefits other than personal satisfaction could you... ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 0
107492 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 1
107491 How well does your country do in international competitions? º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04