¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How important is dancing in your culture?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*Á¶
2021-03-26 2134

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Dancing is very important in Korean culture. In past, there was a dance called masked dance. When there was corruption in my country, citizens wore mask and dance. During the dancing, people criticized the country and expressed their thought.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your corrected composition, Kai! This is one interesting piece of your history and culture that you've shared. Thank you.

Cheers,
Jean~~

Dancing is very important in Korean culture. 
In past, there was a dance called masked dance. 
>> correct

When there was corruption in my country, citizens wore mask and dance. 
>> At that time, our leaders or officials oppressed the people and they were corrupt so the citizens wore masks and danced. 

During the dancing, people criticized the country and expressed their thought.
>> While dancing, people criticized the country and expressed their thoughts. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108152 The food I want to serve if I have my own restaurant ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 1781
108151 Homework (275) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 1052
108150 [04/27]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 3
108149 What is the most unusual thing you\'ve ever eaten. Did it taste... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 3
108148 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 1250
108147 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 707
108146 I... Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 2
108145 I... Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 0
108144 Do you believe that dreams can sometimes predict the future? Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 680
108143 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 1249
108142 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 680
108141 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 1
108140 If you can have your own restaurant, what food do you want to... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 916
108139 Inquire about graduate admission evaluation results #2 Áø*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 6
108138 A Inquire about graduate admission evaluation results #1 Áø*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 6
108137 My wife want to lose her\'s weight. ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 701
108136 What\'s your thought on parents who underwent IVF or artificial... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 7
108135 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 0
108134 homework ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 2
108133 I have 6 stories, but all the stories are very short! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-05-03 662

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04