¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How important is dancing in your culture?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*Á¶
2021-03-26 2141

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Dancing is very important in Korean culture. In past, there was a dance called masked dance. When there was corruption in my country, citizens wore mask and dance. During the dancing, people criticized the country and expressed their thought.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your corrected composition, Kai! This is one interesting piece of your history and culture that you've shared. Thank you.

Cheers,
Jean~~

Dancing is very important in Korean culture. 
In past, there was a dance called masked dance. 
>> correct

When there was corruption in my country, citizens wore mask and dance. 
>> At that time, our leaders or officials oppressed the people and they were corrupt so the citizens wore masks and danced. 

During the dancing, people criticized the country and expressed their thought.
>> While dancing, people criticized the country and expressed their thoughts. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106316 True of False. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4497
106315 My day. ¾È*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 7
106314 Teacher\'s Day Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 3775
106313 Homework. À¯*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4788
106312 Teacher Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4409
106311 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 3984
106310 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4088
106309 In 100 years from now, how different do you think the natural... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4417
106308 New Lesson ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 3625
106307 Write about a time when you had an annoying incident. ¿À*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4421
106306 My priorities in looking for a job °­*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 3880
106305 Seoul\'s population falls below 10 million for the first time in... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 1
106304 Homework ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 2
106303 It is generally believed that some people are born with certain... Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4224
106302 In 100 years from now, how different do you think the natural... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 3
106301 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 1
106300 L... ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 5
106299 In 100 years from now, how different do you think the natural... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 0
106298 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4090
106297 My response is.. Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4278

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04