¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Should there be a limit on how many children there should be in a family?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿­
2021-03-28 1700

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If it is limited to our country, I think we don't have to limit the birth of children. In Korea, the birthrate is currently 0.8 and the problem of low birth rate is serious. So governments are thinking about policies to increase the birth rate, but they are not as effective So I don't think there's any limit to the birth rate.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Steve! I think so too. Now, your country is facing the opposite problem of over population. I hope that the statistics would be balance soon. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon

If it is limited to our country, I think we don't have to limit the birth of children. 
>> I don't think we need to have limit in birth rate in our country.

In Korea, the birthrate is currently 0.8 and the problem of low birth rate is serious. 
>>In Korea, the birthrate is currently 0.8 and this is a serious problem. 

So governments are thinking about policies to increase the birth rate, but they are not as effective So I don't think there's any limit to the birth rate.
>>So, the government is thinking about policies to increase the birth rate but they are not as effective.  This is why I don't think that there should be a limit in birth rate. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107830 What do you think is the most important machine in your life? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 2
107829 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 1
107828 Greetings Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 560
107827 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 634
107826 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 0
107825 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 4
107824 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 1
107823 Why is it important to learn the English language? ½Å*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 636
107822 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 774
107821 homework ¾È*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 748
107820 Do you like being the age at which you now are? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 1701
107819 What were your best and worst trips? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 567
107818 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2021-04-23 678
107817 About household chores ¼±*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 781
107816 \"Too often travel, instead of broadening the mind, merely... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 649
107815 If you can have one thing forever, what would it be and why? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 823
107814 [04/21]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 2
107813 If I can have one thing forever ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 796
107812 Homework (268) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 698
107811 I... Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-22 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04