¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Should there be a limit on how many children there should be in a family?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿­
2021-03-28 1672

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If it is limited to our country, I think we don't have to limit the birth of children. In Korea, the birthrate is currently 0.8 and the problem of low birth rate is serious. So governments are thinking about policies to increase the birth rate, but they are not as effective So I don't think there's any limit to the birth rate.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Steve! I think so too. Now, your country is facing the opposite problem of over population. I hope that the statistics would be balance soon. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon

If it is limited to our country, I think we don't have to limit the birth of children. 
>> I don't think we need to have limit in birth rate in our country.

In Korea, the birthrate is currently 0.8 and the problem of low birth rate is serious. 
>>In Korea, the birthrate is currently 0.8 and this is a serious problem. 

So governments are thinking about policies to increase the birth rate, but they are not as effective So I don't think there's any limit to the birth rate.
>>So, the government is thinking about policies to increase the birth rate but they are not as effective.  This is why I don't think that there should be a limit in birth rate. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107470 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 0
107469 Homework (261) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 688
107468 homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 2
107467 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 4
107466 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 609
107465 My new hobby (2) ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 2
107464 My new hobby (1) ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 1
107463 Work email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 0
107462 Yes! I have teddy bears! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 639
107461 Two things that make me happy. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 491
107460 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 571
107459 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 625
107458 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 718
107457 Do you prefer to travel alone or in a group? Why? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 1
107456 do people in my country like to make new friends? Are friends... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 610
107455 Where do you want to be in right now? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 461
107454 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 5
107453 What is something that you are proud of and why? ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 543
107452 SMILE ANSWER º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 728
107451 leader Á¤*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 631

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04