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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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homework

작성자: 권*원
2021-03-30 1766

회원님의 영작문

1. The first reason why Samsung paid the highest average salaries is that Samsung is the most famous and big company in Korea. Samsung is even one of the top 20 countries in the world.
The second reason is many workers in Samsung have to work too hard after they entered a company. Therefore, many workers quit Samsung due to overwork.
The most important reason is Samsung is IT company. Due to pandemic, many IT companies made a big profit.
For these reasons, Samsung can pay the highest average salaries in Korea.

2. After we join a company, we have to spend half the day in the company and we have to work over 20 years.
Therefore, I think job is important like family.
Which work I do is quite an important factor but more important thing is working with good people.
If you work with companion who fits with you, you can be endurable under any difficult circumstances.
Working with good people is an important assignment in our life.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good morning, Cleo! I wish you could also work with others harmoniously. I know you are a good person, so I hope you find good people to work with too! -Faith-
1. The first reason why Samsung paid the highest average salaries is that Samsung is the most famous and big company in Korea. 
>> 1. The first reason why Samsung paid the highest average salaries is that Samsung is the most famous and the biggest company in Korea. 
Samsung is even one of the top 20 countries in the world.
>> Samsung is even one of the top 20 companies in the world.
The second reason is many workers in Samsung have to work too hard after they entered a company. 
>> The second reason is many workers in Samsung have to work too hard after they entered the company. 
Therefore, many workers quit Samsung due to overwork.
>> Therefore, many workers quit their jobs due to overwork.
The most important reason is Samsung is IT company. 
>> The most important reason is Samsung is an IT company. 
Due to pandemic, many IT companies made a big profit.
>> CORRECT
OR Many IT companies earned a huge profit amid COVID-19.
For these reasons, Samsung can pay the highest average salaries in Korea.
>> CORRECT
2. After we join a company, we have to spend half the day in the company and we have to work over 20 years.
>> 2. After we join a company, we have to spend half a day in the company and we have to work for over 20 years.
Therefore, I think job is important like family.
>> CORRECT
Which work I do is quite an important factor but more important thing is working with good people.
>> Which work I do is quite an important factor but the most important thing is working with good people.
If you work with companion who fits with you, you can be endurable under any difficult circumstances.
>> If you go along with your coworkers, you can endure your work under any difficult circumstances.
Working with good people is an important assignment in our life.
>> CORRECT
OR Working with others harmoniously should be considered necessarily.

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