¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

you think violence is needed to discipline a child? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*ÁÖ
2021-03-30 1395

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

you think violence is needed to discipline a child? Why or why not?

I don't need to discipline a child.
If I give a violence to a child, I think to be changed more emotioanl.
Violence has a bad effect s by parents and child.
For the discipline a child, we have to be a rational person
Of course, It might a difficult!!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Monica! I think the Asian culture is used to using violence when it comes to disciplining their children but this has to end already. Violence is never the key.  We should be very patient with children because they are bound to make mistakes as they are growing up. That's why I think good communication relationship is very important :) I agree with your answer. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!


I don't need to discipline a child.
>> Violence is not needed to discipline a child. 

If I give a violence to a child, I think to be changed more emotioanl.
>> If violence is given to a child, it would harm them emotionally. 

Violence has a bad effect s by parents and child.
>> Violence will have a bad effect to both parents and to the child. 

For the discipline a child, we have to be a rational person
>> To discipline a child, we have to be a rational person. 

Of course, It might a difficult!!
>> Of course, it can be difficult at times. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107634 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-18 802
107633 Describe the wedding you\'ve been to or heard about. ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-18 3
107632 What is the most expensive kind of alcohol in your country? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-18 663
107631 If you can have a big birthday party, how do you want it to be... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-18 611
107630 email3 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-18 0
107629 Work email2 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-18 0
107628 Work email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-18 0
107627 Is homeschooling an effective method of education? Why or why... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-17 806
107626 Who I am... Á¶*½Å ¿Ï·á 2021-04-17 502
107625 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-17 0
107624 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-17 0
107623 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-17 0
107622 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-17 0
107621 Homework(4.16) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-04-17 503
107620 COMPOSITION º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-17 3
107619 What gift would you like to receive? And why. ½Å*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 745
107618 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 4
107617 Homework (264) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 632
107616 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 505
107615 The top five most-watched sports in the world! ¿À*¸° ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 549

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04