¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

you think violence is needed to discipline a child? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*ÁÖ
2021-03-30 1404

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

you think violence is needed to discipline a child? Why or why not?

I don't need to discipline a child.
If I give a violence to a child, I think to be changed more emotioanl.
Violence has a bad effect s by parents and child.
For the discipline a child, we have to be a rational person
Of course, It might a difficult!!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Monica! I think the Asian culture is used to using violence when it comes to disciplining their children but this has to end already. Violence is never the key.  We should be very patient with children because they are bound to make mistakes as they are growing up. That's why I think good communication relationship is very important :) I agree with your answer. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!


I don't need to discipline a child.
>> Violence is not needed to discipline a child. 

If I give a violence to a child, I think to be changed more emotioanl.
>> If violence is given to a child, it would harm them emotionally. 

Violence has a bad effect s by parents and child.
>> Violence will have a bad effect to both parents and to the child. 

For the discipline a child, we have to be a rational person
>> To discipline a child, we have to be a rational person. 

Of course, It might a difficult!!
>> Of course, it can be difficult at times. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106910 What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-03-25 2
106909 Homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-25 3202
106908 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-25 1
106907 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-25 3
106906 HI~GINA! ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-25 3087
106905 New technologies and ways of buying and selling are transforming... Á¤*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-03-25 2211
106904 Imagine that you are giving someone advice about how to gain... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-25 2265
106903 riwon kim ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 2642
106902 riwon kim ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 1889
106901 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 0
106900 I want to learn dogs body language ¾È*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 4
106899 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 4
106898 Favorite question? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 2488
106897 Hi teacher~ ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 3774
106896 Homework (248) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 3049
106895 Hi teacher~ ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 2424
106894 interview question ±Ç*½Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 0
106893 If you had the chance to change your name, would you do it? Why... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 2363
106892 What do you think is the best performing art (music, dance, and... Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 3164
106891 My Doenjang stew. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04