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서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 황*하
2021-03-31 1495

회원님의 영작문

I can't find any positive aspects for users when we put our personal information on online. I can't still understand why companies ask user's information from ID number to address which is very sensitive information. Many people have experienced someone to use their information for crime even though companies developed and ran security programs. Website operators can easily take these information and they analyze it. Companies can say that this is for customers because they create big data and provide it to customers that are products which people like the most and search. They also provide various contents which is related what people searched before. There are a lot of benefits we can get from the internet but nobody sure if it is safe. I think that if users put the minimum information when they join the website, it would be much better than now. Our society has been becoming the internet based community and it will become more modern. Most countries have implemented various

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there Mr. Hwang~! ^^ Thank you for doing your homework! Have a great weekend! See you on Monday!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I can't find any positive aspects for users when we put our personal information on online. 
>>> I can't find any positive aspects for users when we put our personal information online. 
I can't still understand why companies ask user's information from ID number to address which is a very sensitive information.
>>> CORRECT
 Many people have experienced someone to use their information for crime even though companies developed and ran security programs. 
>>> CORRECT
Website operators can easily take these information and they analyze it. 
>>> Website operators can easily take these information and  analyze it. 
Companies can say that this is for customers because they create big data and provide it to customers that are products which people like the most and search. 
>>> Companies can say that this is for customers because they create big data and provide it to customers in products which people like the most and search. 
They also provide various contents which is related what people searched before. 
>>> They also provide various contents which is related to what people searched before. 
There are a lot of benefits we can get from the internet but nobody sure if it is safe.
>>> There are a lot of benefits we can get from the internet but nobody is sure if it is safe.
 I think that if users put the minimum information when they join the website, it would be much better than now.
>>> CORRECT
 Our society has been becoming the internet based community and it will become more modern. 
>>> CORRECT
Most countries have implemented various...
>>> CORRECT
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HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

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01
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02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

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