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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Why do many people try to have a healthy lifestyle?

작성자: 김*온
2021-03-31 1787

회원님의 영작문

I think most people nowadays are taking importance on their health because of longevity.
And it is the fact that lifespan of human is being longer.
If I live longer than I expect, I would like to have a happy life.
It will be sad if I have poor health.

I think the happiness depends on health, dream and love.
And if someone has a good state of health, he or she may have physical strength or time to help someone.

I'm one of the people who tries to have a heathy lifestyle.
I feel that what I ate makes myself.
And I also become healthier after I started checking and controling the quality of the food.

I recommend that you select healthier food when you are hungry.
And prepare the meal yourself. It will be more tastier because you made it yourself.
Treat yourself as you are an another person. (People are likely to treat themselves inhospitably I think)
And do it continuously.

It will make change today ,tomorrow, a month and whole life!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Juliet~ Grateful Monday to the both of us! 
Thanks for sharing:)
>>> TEACHER James
I think most people nowadays are taking importance on their health because of longevity.
>>> CORRECT
And it is the fact that lifespan of human is being longer.
>>> And it is the fact that lifespan of a human is being longer.
If I live longer than I expect, I would like to have a happy life.
>>> CORRECT
It will be sad if I have poor health.
>>> CORRECT
I think the happiness depends on health, dream and love.
>>> I think happiness depends on health, dream, and love.
And if someone has a good state of health, he or she may have physical strength or time to help someone.
>>> CORRECT
I'm one of the people who tries to have a heathy lifestyle.
>>>  I'm one of the people who tries to have a healthy lifestyle.
I feel that what I ate makes myself.
>>> I feel that what I ate makes me who am I.
And I also become healthier after I started checking and controling the quality of the food.
>>> And I also become healthier after I started checking and controlling the quality of the food.
I recommend that you select healthier food when you are hungry.
>>> CORRECT
And prepare the meal yourself. It will be more tastier because you made it yourself.
>>> And prepare the meal yourself. It will be tastier because you made it yourself.
Treat yourself as you are an another person. (People are likely to treat themselves inhospitably I think)
And do it continuously.
>>>  Treat yourself as you are another person. (People are likely to treat themselves inhospitably I think)
And do it continuously.
It will make change today ,tomorrow, a month and whole life!
>>> It will make a change today, tomorrow, a month, and whole life!
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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