¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why do many people try to have a healthy lifestyle?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿Â
2021-03-31 1905

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think most people nowadays are taking importance on their health because of longevity.
And it is the fact that lifespan of human is being longer.
If I live longer than I expect, I would like to have a happy life.
It will be sad if I have poor health.

I think the happiness depends on health, dream and love.
And if someone has a good state of health, he or she may have physical strength or time to help someone.

I'm one of the people who tries to have a heathy lifestyle.
I feel that what I ate makes myself.
And I also become healthier after I started checking and controling the quality of the food.

I recommend that you select healthier food when you are hungry.
And prepare the meal yourself. It will be more tastier because you made it yourself.
Treat yourself as you are an another person. (People are likely to treat themselves inhospitably I think)
And do it continuously.

It will make change today ,tomorrow, a month and whole life!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Juliet~ Grateful Monday to the both of us! 
Thanks for sharing:)
>>> TEACHER James
I think most people nowadays are taking importance on their health because of longevity.
>>> CORRECT
And it is the fact that lifespan of human is being longer.
>>> And it is the fact that lifespan of a human is being longer.
If I live longer than I expect, I would like to have a happy life.
>>> CORRECT
It will be sad if I have poor health.
>>> CORRECT
I think the happiness depends on health, dream and love.
>>> I think happiness depends on health, dream, and love.
And if someone has a good state of health, he or she may have physical strength or time to help someone.
>>> CORRECT
I'm one of the people who tries to have a heathy lifestyle.
>>>  I'm one of the people who tries to have a healthy lifestyle.
I feel that what I ate makes myself.
>>> I feel that what I ate makes me who am I.
And I also become healthier after I started checking and controling the quality of the food.
>>> And I also become healthier after I started checking and controlling the quality of the food.
I recommend that you select healthier food when you are hungry.
>>> CORRECT
And prepare the meal yourself. It will be more tastier because you made it yourself.
>>> And prepare the meal yourself. It will be tastier because you made it yourself.
Treat yourself as you are an another person. (People are likely to treat themselves inhospitably I think)
And do it continuously.
>>>  Treat yourself as you are another person. (People are likely to treat themselves inhospitably I think)
And do it continuously.
It will make change today ,tomorrow, a month and whole life!
>>> It will make a change today, tomorrow, a month, and whole life!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105899 Whether or not a person achieves their aims in life is mostly... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 907
105898 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1
105897 I think that the education system is necessary. ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1201
105896 homework_21.02.18 ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1
105895 If I can do research work on a specific subject or field Á¶*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1
105894 The advantages and disadvantages of taking risks ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1506
105893 [2/18]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1
105892 [2/17]/Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 2
105891 Do you enjoy holidays? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1057
105890 Do you agree that having a lot of homework is good training for... ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1
105889 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1096
105888 What do people do during movies that really annoy you? Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 985
105887 Bond of my family ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1
105886 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1092
105885 Title. ½Å*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 2
105884 Why do you like to have daughters instead of sons? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1280
105883 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 4
105882 Math ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1267
105881 Other people\'s opinion ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 987
105880 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1133

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04