¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think life was like for human beings when dinosaurs were around?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*Á¶
2021-03-31 1191

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that life of the human beings were cruelly hard. They have to be aware of predators. Also, they had to find foods to eat. Although they lived with other people, their life were still hard before basis civilization developed.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your edited composition, Kai! Catch you next week!

Cheers, 
Jean~~



I think that life of the human beings were cruelly hard. 
>> I think that the life of human beings at that time was cruelly hard. 

They have to be aware of predators. 
>> They always had to be aware of predators and live on the edge. 

Also, they had to find foods to eat. 
>> correct

Although they lived with other people, their life were still hard before basis civilization developed.
>> Although they lived with other people, their life was still hard before the development of civilization. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109021 Please write about the things that you love doing aside from... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-01 663
109020 Do you believe in the saying \"the rich are growing richer, and... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-01 2
109019 [05/28]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-06-01 2
109018 Do you like black? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-01 610
109017 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-01 2
109016 Would you rather give money to beggars or buskers? ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-01 715
109015 available for class ¼Û*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-01 514
109014 \"When you cannot sleep\" was the best topic in our Junior free... ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-01 643
109013 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-01 559
109012 Would you rather give money to beggars or buskers? Explain your... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-01 645
109011 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-06-01 605
109010 What is your favorite holiday? Why? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-01 1
109009 Would you rather give money to beggars or buskers? (Buskers are... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-01 0
109008 Adventure À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-01 458
109007 Busy ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-01 1
109006 210601 Àå*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-06-01 1
109005 Home work!! ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-01 509
109004 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-01 1
109003 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-01 543
109002 Do you think your status in life is different now if you are... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-01 546

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04