¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think life was like for human beings when dinosaurs were around?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*Á¶
2021-03-31 1098

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that life of the human beings were cruelly hard. They have to be aware of predators. Also, they had to find foods to eat. Although they lived with other people, their life were still hard before basis civilization developed.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your edited composition, Kai! Catch you next week!

Cheers, 
Jean~~



I think that life of the human beings were cruelly hard. 
>> I think that the life of human beings at that time was cruelly hard. 

They have to be aware of predators. 
>> They always had to be aware of predators and live on the edge. 

Also, they had to find foods to eat. 
>> correct

Although they lived with other people, their life were still hard before basis civilization developed.
>> Although they lived with other people, their life was still hard before the development of civilization. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106768 Which form of transport do you like taking most? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 3634
106767 Question 1: Is peer pressure beneficial or harmful? / Question... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 7
106766 What was the biggest challenge you faced when you stayed in... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 3945
106765 Giving an expensive gadget to a kid. ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-21 3684
106764 Can you tell a brief history of your hometown? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-21 3489
106763 What is the biggest change this world needs? ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-21 3731
106762 Govt. task force to summon LH officials over alleged land... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-21 1
106761 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-21 8
106760 Jop losses continue for 12th month in Feb. amid pandemic À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-21 2
106759 What is the biggest change this world needs? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-21 2
106758 Is peer pressure beneficial or harmful? Explain your answer. ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-21 2
106757 A hard decision. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-21 2
106756 New hobbies Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-21 3834
106755 Go to bed early before taking the test. ¾È*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-20 5
106754 Do the colors of the clothes we wear represent our mood ? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-20 2941
106753 Do you think it would be a good idea to have 3 days worth of... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-20 3
106752 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-20 4
106751 grandparents house. ¾È*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-20 5
106750 Which do you prefer to learn, America accent vs. British accent?... Á¤*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-03-20 3354
106749 What do you think is the most dangerous animal? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-19 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04