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The increase of private cars causes many problems.

작성자: 정*성
2021-04-01 1491

회원님의 영작문

The increase of private cars causes many problems. Firstly, cars create air pollution by discharge exhaust gas. So the earth is getting damaged by air pollution. Secondly, the more increase personal cars, the more cause traffic jam. As a result, we have more waste time on the road.
the government is trying for reducing these problems because of the above troubles. The government has some solutions. The first thing is the development of electric vehicles. It doesn't discharge exhaust gas. So I believe that air pollution is going to reduce if there are many electric cars on the road. The second thing is using public transportation. I am sure Traffic congestion will also reduce if people use public transportation.

In conclusion, we should discourage people to use cars for reducing these problems. Also, the government should encourage all people to buy electric vehicles and to use public transportation.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good evening Andy. I hope you can talk as good as you write in here. Most of the time, you have a good content. ^_^
T. Irene
The increase of private cars causes many problems. 
>>> Correct. 
Firstly, cars create air pollution by discharge exhaust gas. 
>>> Firstly, cars create air pollution by discharging exhaust gas. 
So the earth is getting damaged by air pollution. 
>>> Correct. 
Secondly, the more increase personal cars, the more cause traffic jam. 
>>>  Secondly, the increasing number of personal cars cause more traffic jams. 
As a result, we have more waste time on the road.
>>> As a result, we waste or spend more time on the road. 
the government is trying for reducing these problems because of the above troubles. 
>>> The government is trying to solve these problems caused by those mentioned above. 
The government has some solutions.
>>> the government presented some solutions. 
 The first thing is the development of electric vehicles. 
>>> The first solution is the development of electric cars. 
It doesn't discharge exhaust gas. 
>>> Correct. 
So I believe that air pollution is going to reduce if there are many electric cars on the road. 
>>> So I believe that air pollution is going to be reduced if there are many electric cars on the road. 
The second thing is using public transportation. 
>>> The second solution is the use of public transport. 
I am sure Traffic congestion will also reduce if people use public transportation.
>>> I am sure Traffic congestion will also be reduced if people use public transportation.
In conclusion, we should discourage people to use cars for reducing these problems. 
>>> In conclusion, we should discourage people from using cars.  
Also, the government should encourage all people to buy electric vehicles and to use public transportation.
>>> Correct. 


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