¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The increase of private cars causes many problems.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¼º
2021-04-01 1508

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The increase of private cars causes many problems. Firstly, cars create air pollution by discharge exhaust gas. So the earth is getting damaged by air pollution. Secondly, the more increase personal cars, the more cause traffic jam. As a result, we have more waste time on the road.
the government is trying for reducing these problems because of the above troubles. The government has some solutions. The first thing is the development of electric vehicles. It doesn't discharge exhaust gas. So I believe that air pollution is going to reduce if there are many electric cars on the road. The second thing is using public transportation. I am sure Traffic congestion will also reduce if people use public transportation.

In conclusion, we should discourage people to use cars for reducing these problems. Also, the government should encourage all people to buy electric vehicles and to use public transportation.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Andy. I hope you can talk as good as you write in here. Most of the time, you have a good content. ^_^
T. Irene
The increase of private cars causes many problems. 
>>> Correct. 
Firstly, cars create air pollution by discharge exhaust gas. 
>>> Firstly, cars create air pollution by discharging exhaust gas. 
So the earth is getting damaged by air pollution. 
>>> Correct. 
Secondly, the more increase personal cars, the more cause traffic jam. 
>>>  Secondly, the increasing number of personal cars cause more traffic jams. 
As a result, we have more waste time on the road.
>>> As a result, we waste or spend more time on the road. 
the government is trying for reducing these problems because of the above troubles. 
>>> The government is trying to solve these problems caused by those mentioned above. 
The government has some solutions.
>>> the government presented some solutions. 
 The first thing is the development of electric vehicles. 
>>> The first solution is the development of electric cars. 
It doesn't discharge exhaust gas. 
>>> Correct. 
So I believe that air pollution is going to reduce if there are many electric cars on the road. 
>>> So I believe that air pollution is going to be reduced if there are many electric cars on the road. 
The second thing is using public transportation. 
>>> The second solution is the use of public transport. 
I am sure Traffic congestion will also reduce if people use public transportation.
>>> I am sure Traffic congestion will also be reduced if people use public transportation.
In conclusion, we should discourage people to use cars for reducing these problems. 
>>> In conclusion, we should discourage people from using cars.  
Also, the government should encourage all people to buy electric vehicles and to use public transportation.
>>> Correct. 


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106216 What are you thoughts about having face to face classes even if... ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 5360
106215 What are you thoughts about having face to face classes even if... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 0
106214 What are the advantages and disadvantages of using social media... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 0
106213 Why do we need to help other people? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4693
106212 Hi º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4383
106211 Could you check my writing? Á¤*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4133
106210 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4945
106209 What is the most important characteristic to have when working... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4287
106208 What makes a city great to live in? Are cities good for the... È«*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 1
106207 What are the advantages and disadvantages of using social media... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4630
106206 What are you thoughts about having face to face classes even if... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4
106205 What are the comedy movies you have seen? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 5264
106204 The graph below shows tourism statistics among Venezuelian... Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 3647
106203 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 2
106202 If you went to school again, what would you do differently? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4682
106201 Face to face class ¼³*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4022
106200 check please ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4482
106199 HOMEWORK FOR 03.03 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-03 4148
106198 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-03 5
106197 What do you like about cats? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-03 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04