¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The increase of private cars causes many problems.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¼º
2021-04-01 1539

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The increase of private cars causes many problems. Firstly, cars create air pollution by discharge exhaust gas. So the earth is getting damaged by air pollution. Secondly, the more increase personal cars, the more cause traffic jam. As a result, we have more waste time on the road.
the government is trying for reducing these problems because of the above troubles. The government has some solutions. The first thing is the development of electric vehicles. It doesn't discharge exhaust gas. So I believe that air pollution is going to reduce if there are many electric cars on the road. The second thing is using public transportation. I am sure Traffic congestion will also reduce if people use public transportation.

In conclusion, we should discourage people to use cars for reducing these problems. Also, the government should encourage all people to buy electric vehicles and to use public transportation.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Andy. I hope you can talk as good as you write in here. Most of the time, you have a good content. ^_^
T. Irene
The increase of private cars causes many problems. 
>>> Correct. 
Firstly, cars create air pollution by discharge exhaust gas. 
>>> Firstly, cars create air pollution by discharging exhaust gas. 
So the earth is getting damaged by air pollution. 
>>> Correct. 
Secondly, the more increase personal cars, the more cause traffic jam. 
>>>  Secondly, the increasing number of personal cars cause more traffic jams. 
As a result, we have more waste time on the road.
>>> As a result, we waste or spend more time on the road. 
the government is trying for reducing these problems because of the above troubles. 
>>> The government is trying to solve these problems caused by those mentioned above. 
The government has some solutions.
>>> the government presented some solutions. 
 The first thing is the development of electric vehicles. 
>>> The first solution is the development of electric cars. 
It doesn't discharge exhaust gas. 
>>> Correct. 
So I believe that air pollution is going to reduce if there are many electric cars on the road. 
>>> So I believe that air pollution is going to be reduced if there are many electric cars on the road. 
The second thing is using public transportation. 
>>> The second solution is the use of public transport. 
I am sure Traffic congestion will also reduce if people use public transportation.
>>> I am sure Traffic congestion will also be reduced if people use public transportation.
In conclusion, we should discourage people to use cars for reducing these problems. 
>>> In conclusion, we should discourage people from using cars.  
Also, the government should encourage all people to buy electric vehicles and to use public transportation.
>>> Correct. 


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106083 For my children. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3138
106082 [02/24]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 1
106081 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 2
106080 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3205
106079 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3285
106078 Online classes vs. In-person lessons ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3
106077 Share your most memorable dream you\'ve had. ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3
106076 What are some of the best jobs you can think of? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 1
106075 Is there anything you don\'t like about weekends and you wish... ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3171
106074 Inventions that will make people¡¯s lives much easier ¼³*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3680
106073 My best trip in middle school ¼±*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-28 3700
106072 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-28 4
106071 Trusting a person Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-28 3550
106070 Email ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-28 3
106069 Weenkends ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-28 1
106068 My presentation2 ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-28 5
106067 My presentation1 ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-28 9
106066 Share your most memorable dream you\'ve had. ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-27 3846
106065 HOMEWORK FOR 02.26 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-27 3341
106064 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-27 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04