¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think Arts have something to do with one\'s behavior?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*±¹
2021-04-03 859

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that Arts express one's emotion. There is various methods to care people's mind. Expressive arts therapy uses arts like movements, drawing, painting, wrings, sound, It is process of discovering ourselves from inner emotion. Peoples use the arts to let go, to express, to release.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Sir Mandeep! Thank you for taking time in answering the question. Here are some of the corrections, but other than that, you did really great. :) Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

I think that Arts express one's emotion.
>> CORRECT!

There is various methods to care people's mind.
>> There are various methods to care people's mind.

Expressive arts therapy uses arts like movements, drawing, painting, wrings, sound, 
>>Expressive arts therapy uses arts like movements, drawings, paintings, wrings, and sounds.

It is process of discovering ourselves from inner emotion. 
>> It is a process of discovering ourselves from inner emotion. 

Peoples use the arts to let go, to express, to release.
>> People use the arts to let go, to express, and to release.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108892 HOMEWORK: Writing Task: Do people in your town or city often... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 601
108891 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 603
108890 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 561
108889 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 1
108888 Which natural disaster do you fear most and why? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 1
108887 Homework 5.27 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 647
108886 Challenges improve myself Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 493
108885 Home work! ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 518
108884 Describe your favorite WEATHER AND SEASON in an essay. º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 1
108883 What do you think is the most dangerous crime in the world? º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 1
108882 What are some of your bad habits and how do you think are you... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 1107
108881 HW-2 ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 590
108880 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 4
108879 Homework (291) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 725
108878 What are some of your bad habits ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 642
108877 How do you spend holidays in Seoul? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 2
108876 homework of monday ±è*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 763
108875 What are some of your bad habits and how do you think are you... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 699
108874 If you could change your name, what would you change it to? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 629
108873 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04