¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think Arts have something to do with one\'s behavior?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*±¹
2021-04-03 754

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that Arts express one's emotion. There is various methods to care people's mind. Expressive arts therapy uses arts like movements, drawing, painting, wrings, sound, It is process of discovering ourselves from inner emotion. Peoples use the arts to let go, to express, to release.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Sir Mandeep! Thank you for taking time in answering the question. Here are some of the corrections, but other than that, you did really great. :) Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

I think that Arts express one's emotion.
>> CORRECT!

There is various methods to care people's mind.
>> There are various methods to care people's mind.

Expressive arts therapy uses arts like movements, drawing, painting, wrings, sound, 
>>Expressive arts therapy uses arts like movements, drawings, paintings, wrings, and sounds.

It is process of discovering ourselves from inner emotion. 
>> It is a process of discovering ourselves from inner emotion. 

Peoples use the arts to let go, to express, to release.
>> People use the arts to let go, to express, and to release.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106672 Why do you think people of all ages like watching cartoons? Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 3911
106671 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 2
106670 [03/11]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 1
106669 fortnite season 6 ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 4165
106668 writing: dinoursours Á¶*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 3
106667 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 3177
106666 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 3218
106665 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 4633
106664 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 3221
106663 h Àå*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 6
106662 My homework ¡Æ¡ä¡Æ À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 0
106661 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 0
106660 HOMEWORK °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 3454
106659 Which do you like better, eating meat or vegetables? Why? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 4301
106658 My best friends are Hwang Da Song, and Hwang Da Sol. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 3083
106657 Rocks Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 3275
106656 What food do you want to enjoy for vacation? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 3895
106655 What is your dream ? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 3193
106654 Change of past ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 3
106653 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 3074

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04