¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you preserve beautuful sceneries in your country?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ø
2021-04-05 936

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In korea, there are many unique heritages which we have preserved for a long time. The Korean government set several rules, especially one of the rules is called a green belt to protect our beautiful sceneries from indiscriminately developments.
Korea has a small land but it has a long history. It has developed its own cultures such as architectures, religions and natures. Also, most koreans are very proud of their heritages and they have been trying to preserve beatiful sceneries. However, some people destroyed our beautiful sceneries just for getting benefits. That is the reson that the government set a rule and punish them.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there Young Won!

Greed push people to destroy and exploit the environment until there is not left of it. The government needs to be serious in preserving what is left with these heritage or we will suffer more in the future.

Thank you very much for this composition. It is critical and well supported. Keep it up!

-T. Donna =)

In korea, there are many unique heritages which we have preserved for a long time. 
>> In Korea, there are many unique heritage which we have preserved for a long time. 

The Korean government set several rules, especially one of the rules is called a green belt to protect our beautiful sceneries from indiscriminately developments.
>> The Korean government set several rules, especially one which is called a green belt to protect our beautiful sceneries from indiscriminate developments.

Korea has a small land but it has a long history. 
>> Correct!

It has developed its own cultures such as architectures, religions and natures. 
>> It has developed its own culture such as architecture, religions, and nature. 

Also, most koreans are very proud of their heritages and they have been trying to preserve beatiful sceneries. 
>> Also, most Koreans are very proud of their heritage and they have been trying to preserve beautiful sceneries. 

However, some people destroyed our beautiful sceneries just for getting benefits. 
>> Correct!

That is the reson that the government set a rule and punish them.
>> That is the reason why the government set rules and punish for them.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108791 Homework 5.24 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 572
108790 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 701
108789 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 4
108788 Some claim that studying abroad has great benefits for a... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 690
108787 I... ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 681
108786 today\\\'s homework ÀÓ*ÃÑ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 587
108785 Homework😀 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 597
108784 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 1
108783 Cryptocurrency panic-selling wipes out 900 trillion won in 24... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 1
108782 Cultures and traditions are different in each country so what... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 2
108781 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 631
108780 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 631
108779 How do you welcome your new neighbor to your community? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 688
108778 Homewokr ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 552
108777 Homewokr ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 943
108776 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 559
108775 Home work(5.21) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 723
108774 Cultures and traditions are different in each country so what... ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 622
108773 Do you think the past was better than the present? Why or why... ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 549
108772 Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 514

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04