¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you preserve beautuful sceneries in your country?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ø
2021-04-05 812

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In korea, there are many unique heritages which we have preserved for a long time. The Korean government set several rules, especially one of the rules is called a green belt to protect our beautiful sceneries from indiscriminately developments.
Korea has a small land but it has a long history. It has developed its own cultures such as architectures, religions and natures. Also, most koreans are very proud of their heritages and they have been trying to preserve beatiful sceneries. However, some people destroyed our beautiful sceneries just for getting benefits. That is the reson that the government set a rule and punish them.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there Young Won!

Greed push people to destroy and exploit the environment until there is not left of it. The government needs to be serious in preserving what is left with these heritage or we will suffer more in the future.

Thank you very much for this composition. It is critical and well supported. Keep it up!

-T. Donna =)

In korea, there are many unique heritages which we have preserved for a long time. 
>> In Korea, there are many unique heritage which we have preserved for a long time. 

The Korean government set several rules, especially one of the rules is called a green belt to protect our beautiful sceneries from indiscriminately developments.
>> The Korean government set several rules, especially one which is called a green belt to protect our beautiful sceneries from indiscriminate developments.

Korea has a small land but it has a long history. 
>> Correct!

It has developed its own cultures such as architectures, religions and natures. 
>> It has developed its own culture such as architecture, religions, and nature. 

Also, most koreans are very proud of their heritages and they have been trying to preserve beatiful sceneries. 
>> Also, most Koreans are very proud of their heritage and they have been trying to preserve beautiful sceneries. 

However, some people destroyed our beautiful sceneries just for getting benefits. 
>> Correct!

That is the reson that the government set a rule and punish them.
>> That is the reason why the government set rules and punish for them.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107551 Society is based on rules and laws. It could not function if... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 565
107550 What is the best memory you have in school? Tell me about it. Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 0
107549 What is the best memory you have in school when you were still... ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 588
107548 Homwork ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 2
107547 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 3
107546 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 4
107545 pet Á¤*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 645
107544 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 4
107543 SMILE ANSWER º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 590
107542 Korea condemns Japan¡¯s decision to release water from Fukushima À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 1
107541 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 0
107540 Homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 527
107539 Homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 480
107538 used to Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 534
107537 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 1
107536 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 3
107535 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 1
107534 What do you think of when you hear the word ¡®movie¡¯? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 667
107533 Do you think people don\'t read enough books these days? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 561
107532 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04