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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the greate

작성자: 황*하
2021-04-05 445

회원님의 영작문

In my experience, I don't have memory about my youth life but I am sure that the experiences I had before will affect to my mental side. I have read the article about how important the experience gained before being adult is. Professionals say that the memory will influence to people potentially. I have thought that if I go on trips with my children when they are under 5 years old, I was not sure if they will remember the moments that they had before. However, I think it will be the most important factor to children's growing. Children differ from how to grow up. I believe that the environment of household affect children's mind set that creates their attitude and personality.
All children want to get attention from their parents on every moments. If parents have a lot of time with family, their children will be the right person who have good influence to our society.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

HAPPY TUESDAY TO YOU MR. HWANG~! ^^
Believe in your dreams and always focus on those things that matter most. Strike a balance between what is serious and what is irrelevant. You’re lifted. 
A fresh start, a clean slate, and a lot of potentials for great things to come. That is what Tuesdays really are.
Have a sweet day~!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
***********************
In my experience, I don't have memory about my youth life but I am sure that the experiences I had before will affect to my mental side.
>>> Based on my experience, I don't have good memories about my teenage life but I am sure that the experiences I had before will affect my mental side.
 I have read the article about how important the experience gained before being adult is.
>>> CORRECT
 Professionals say that the memory will influence to people potentially. 
>>>  Professionals say that the memory can influence people potentially. 
I have thought that if I go on trips with my children when they are under 5 years old, I was not sure if they will remember the moments that they had before.
>>> CORRECT
 However, I think it will be the most important factor to children's growing.
>>> CORRECT
 Children differ from how to grow up.
>>>  Children differ while growing up.
 I believe that the environment of household affect children's mind set that creates their attitude and personality.
>>>  I believe that the environment of household affect the children's mindset that creates their attitude and personality.
All children want to get attention from their parents on every moments.
>>> All children want to get attention from their parents every moment.
 If parents have a lot of time with family, their children will be the right person who have good influence to our society.
>>>  If parents have a lot of time with family, their children will be the right people who have good influence in the society.

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03
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