¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¼º
2021-04-05 466

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There are a number of reasons why children should stay at home until 6 or 7 years old. Firstly, young children should grow up with the love of their parents before they go to school. It is more important to stay and play at home with parents than go to school early because it helps kids their stable emotional. Secondly, the young child has a weak immune system. If children go to school or child care at an early age, they will get sick easily. Some people argue that going to school early is helpful for social skills. I think it is wrong because many people didn't go to school early in the past. However, they have enough social skills.

To sum up, I believe that young children are not important to go to school at an early age.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Andy! Well, I hope and pray that you're going to get the IELTS score you needed. And I want to congratulate you and your wife for your coming baby boy. ^_^
T. Irene
There are a number of reasons why children should stay at home until 6 or 7 years old. 
>>> Correct. 
Firstly, young children should grow up with the love of their parents before they go to school. 
>>> Correct. 
It is more important to stay and play at home with parents than go to school early because it helps kids their stable emotional. 
>>> It is more important to stay and play at home with parents than go to school early because it helps kids be emotionally  stable.  
Secondly, the young child has a weak immune system. 
>>> Correct. 
If children go to school or child care at an early age, they will get sick easily. 
>>> Correct. 
Some people argue that going to school early is helpful for social skills. 
>>> Correct. 
I think it is wrong because many people didn't go to school early in the past. 
>>> Correct. 
OR
>>> I think it is wrong because older generations didn't go to school early in the past. 
However, they have enough social skills.
>>> Correct. 
To sum up, I believe that young children are not important to go to school at an early age.
>>> To sum up, I believe that it is not important  for young children to go to school at an early age.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108904 Have you ever been in the hospital for some severe treatment? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 616
108903 Sprinkling ash on the finished rice!!! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 710
108902 Why do you think prices in Korea are high? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 395
108901 Snack ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 414
108900 Which natural disaster do you fear most and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 699
108899 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 428
108898 Tour places ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 429
108897 tell me about your favorite drink ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 634
108896 HOMEWORK: Writing Task: What would you say is the cheapest way... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 992
108895 HOMEWORK: Writing Task: What foods from your country do you... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 663
108894 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 3
108893 HOMEWORK: Writing Task: Who are your favorite actors and... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 588
108892 HOMEWORK: Writing Task: Do people in your town or city often... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 593
108891 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 592
108890 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 543
108889 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 1
108888 Which natural disaster do you fear most and why? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 1
108887 Homework 5.27 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 640
108886 Challenges improve myself Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 486
108885 Home work! ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 500

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04