¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¼º
2021-04-05 357

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There are a number of reasons why children should stay at home until 6 or 7 years old. Firstly, young children should grow up with the love of their parents before they go to school. It is more important to stay and play at home with parents than go to school early because it helps kids their stable emotional. Secondly, the young child has a weak immune system. If children go to school or child care at an early age, they will get sick easily. Some people argue that going to school early is helpful for social skills. I think it is wrong because many people didn't go to school early in the past. However, they have enough social skills.

To sum up, I believe that young children are not important to go to school at an early age.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Andy! Well, I hope and pray that you're going to get the IELTS score you needed. And I want to congratulate you and your wife for your coming baby boy. ^_^
T. Irene
There are a number of reasons why children should stay at home until 6 or 7 years old. 
>>> Correct. 
Firstly, young children should grow up with the love of their parents before they go to school. 
>>> Correct. 
It is more important to stay and play at home with parents than go to school early because it helps kids their stable emotional. 
>>> It is more important to stay and play at home with parents than go to school early because it helps kids be emotionally  stable.  
Secondly, the young child has a weak immune system. 
>>> Correct. 
If children go to school or child care at an early age, they will get sick easily. 
>>> Correct. 
Some people argue that going to school early is helpful for social skills. 
>>> Correct. 
I think it is wrong because many people didn't go to school early in the past. 
>>> Correct. 
OR
>>> I think it is wrong because older generations didn't go to school early in the past. 
However, they have enough social skills.
>>> Correct. 
To sum up, I believe that young children are not important to go to school at an early age.
>>> To sum up, I believe that it is not important  for young children to go to school at an early age.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107148 Who is the person you trust the most? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-04-02 805
107147 Do you think sunblock is important when going to the beach? Why? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-02 1
107146 Where do you usually meet new people? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-02 1417
107145 More Koreans Have Children Later in Life À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-02 2
107144 Is aging more difficult for men or women? Why? ±è*¿Â ¿Ï·á 2021-04-02 939
107143 I think that I open my own mouth(a little bit...) Áö*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-01 1743
107142 The change of the weather where I live. ±è*¿Â ¿Ï·á 2021-04-01 822
107141 What stresses you the most and how to you handle it? Á¤*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-01 1
107140 Homework (254) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-01 1490
107139 I think.. Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-01 1
107138 ¤Ç¤Ì Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-01 1508
107137 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-01 0
107136 homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-01 1
107135 What do you think is the most serious problem in the world? Why... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-01 1016
107134 [03/31]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-04-01 1
107133 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-01 1014
107132 My favorite book is ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-04-01 1151
107131 Create a sentence with wirds in it ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-01 1042
107130 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-01 1388
107129 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-04-01 1359

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04