¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¼º
2021-04-05 434

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There are a number of reasons why children should stay at home until 6 or 7 years old. Firstly, young children should grow up with the love of their parents before they go to school. It is more important to stay and play at home with parents than go to school early because it helps kids their stable emotional. Secondly, the young child has a weak immune system. If children go to school or child care at an early age, they will get sick easily. Some people argue that going to school early is helpful for social skills. I think it is wrong because many people didn't go to school early in the past. However, they have enough social skills.

To sum up, I believe that young children are not important to go to school at an early age.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Andy! Well, I hope and pray that you're going to get the IELTS score you needed. And I want to congratulate you and your wife for your coming baby boy. ^_^
T. Irene
There are a number of reasons why children should stay at home until 6 or 7 years old. 
>>> Correct. 
Firstly, young children should grow up with the love of their parents before they go to school. 
>>> Correct. 
It is more important to stay and play at home with parents than go to school early because it helps kids their stable emotional. 
>>> It is more important to stay and play at home with parents than go to school early because it helps kids be emotionally  stable.  
Secondly, the young child has a weak immune system. 
>>> Correct. 
If children go to school or child care at an early age, they will get sick easily. 
>>> Correct. 
Some people argue that going to school early is helpful for social skills. 
>>> Correct. 
I think it is wrong because many people didn't go to school early in the past. 
>>> Correct. 
OR
>>> I think it is wrong because older generations didn't go to school early in the past. 
However, they have enough social skills.
>>> Correct. 
To sum up, I believe that young children are not important to go to school at an early age.
>>> To sum up, I believe that it is not important  for young children to go to school at an early age.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106579 Which is your favorite sense? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 4011
106578 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 1
106577 Homework should be limited Á¤*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 4883
106576 family time ¼³*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 4447
106575 COMPOSITION º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 1
106574 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 1
106573 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 1
106572 ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 4921
106571 When is immigration helpful to a country and when is harmful? È«*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 1
106570 How can traveling be educational ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4281
106569 The thing I would buy if I¡¯m going to save up some money for... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4685
106568 Homework (241) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 5396
106567 Do you think all children should be taught loyalty and... Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 3276
106566 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 6
106565 What is your favorite music genre? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4393
106564 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4205
106563 Music Therapy ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 3940
106562 If you are going to save up some money for something, what would... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4517
106561 What bad habits bother you the most? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4469
106560 Am I sensitive? ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04