¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

In your opinion, what is the healthiest Korean dish?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*±¹
2021-04-06 864

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There are many healthy Korean dish. I understand the healthiest Korean dish among all Korean food is the Jib Bab. It means a home meal that made in home. It is made by mother in particular, and it is composed of rice food and side dish. The food which buy at restaurant is sometimes so delicious, but it is not healthful to our body. The owner of shop often uses a harmful product to make a sweet taste. But mother do not use it for their family. It is the why Jib Bab is the healthiest Korean dish.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Sir Mandeep! Thank you for taking time in answering the question. Here are some of the corrections, but other than that, I think you really did great. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


There are many healthy Korean dish.
>> There are many healthy Korean dishes.
OR >> There are various healthy Korean dishes.

I understand the healthiest Korean dish among all Korean food is the Jib Bab. 
>> I understand the healthiest Korean dish among all Korean food is Jib Bab. 

It means a home meal that made in home. 
>> This is a home-made meal.

It is made by mother in particular, and it is composed of rice food and side dish.
>> Mothers usually cook it, and it it made of rice and side dishes.

The food which buy at restaurant is sometimes so delicious, but it is not healthful to our body. 
>> The food we buy in the restaurant is sometimes delicious, but not healthy for our body.

The owner of shop often uses a harmful product to make a sweet taste.
>> Shop owners often use harmful products to make the food sweet, but moms don't use it, for the sake of her family's health.

But mother do not use it for their family. 
>> Shop owners often use harmful products to make the food sweet, but moms don't use it, for the sake of her family's health.

It is the why Jib Bab is the healthiest Korean dish.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108893 HOMEWORK: Writing Task: Who are your favorite actors and... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 592
108892 HOMEWORK: Writing Task: Do people in your town or city often... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 595
108891 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 594
108890 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 546
108889 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 1
108888 Which natural disaster do you fear most and why? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 1
108887 Homework 5.27 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 644
108886 Challenges improve myself Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 490
108885 Home work! ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 502
108884 Describe your favorite WEATHER AND SEASON in an essay. º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 1
108883 What do you think is the most dangerous crime in the world? º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 1
108882 What are some of your bad habits and how do you think are you... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-27 1100
108881 HW-2 ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 549
108880 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 4
108879 Homework (291) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 718
108878 What are some of your bad habits ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 625
108877 How do you spend holidays in Seoul? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 2
108876 homework of monday ±è*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 735
108875 What are some of your bad habits and how do you think are you... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 667
108874 If you could change your name, what would you change it to? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 626

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04