¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

In your opinion, what is the healthiest Korean dish?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*±¹
2021-04-06 712

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There are many healthy Korean dish. I understand the healthiest Korean dish among all Korean food is the Jib Bab. It means a home meal that made in home. It is made by mother in particular, and it is composed of rice food and side dish. The food which buy at restaurant is sometimes so delicious, but it is not healthful to our body. The owner of shop often uses a harmful product to make a sweet taste. But mother do not use it for their family. It is the why Jib Bab is the healthiest Korean dish.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Sir Mandeep! Thank you for taking time in answering the question. Here are some of the corrections, but other than that, I think you really did great. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


There are many healthy Korean dish.
>> There are many healthy Korean dishes.
OR >> There are various healthy Korean dishes.

I understand the healthiest Korean dish among all Korean food is the Jib Bab. 
>> I understand the healthiest Korean dish among all Korean food is Jib Bab. 

It means a home meal that made in home. 
>> This is a home-made meal.

It is made by mother in particular, and it is composed of rice food and side dish.
>> Mothers usually cook it, and it it made of rice and side dishes.

The food which buy at restaurant is sometimes so delicious, but it is not healthful to our body. 
>> The food we buy in the restaurant is sometimes delicious, but not healthy for our body.

The owner of shop often uses a harmful product to make a sweet taste.
>> Shop owners often use harmful products to make the food sweet, but moms don't use it, for the sake of her family's health.

But mother do not use it for their family. 
>> Shop owners often use harmful products to make the food sweet, but moms don't use it, for the sake of her family's health.

It is the why Jib Bab is the healthiest Korean dish.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107393 homework_21.04.08 ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 2
107392 What are your daily routines? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-12 489
107391 interview3 ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-11 1
107390 interview 2 ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-11 2
107389 interview 1 ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-11 2
107388 Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-04-11 991
107387 What is the typical price for a set meal in your local area? How... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-11 434
107386 Fill in the blanks. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-11 2
107385 Serious relationship or money. ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-11 508
107384 I prefer spending time alone. ±è*¿Â ¿Ï·á 2021-04-11 633
107383 I prefer the combination of them in workplaces. ±è*¿Â ¿Ï·á 2021-04-11 673
107382 My worst and best trips ever. ±è*¿Â ¿Ï·á 2021-04-11 535
107381 Which do you think is a better form of communication? Texting or... ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-11 435
107380 Are the words arrogance and confidence the same? Tell me your... ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-11 946
107379 Speaking of scents or smell; What are you going to do if the... ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-11 684
107378 In your opinion, what are the reasons why there is a continuous... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-10 431
107377 5Verbs Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-10 578
107376 more women over 40 have babies À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-10 1
107375 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-10 5
107374 What can you say about cat-calling? Do you think women are the... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-10 570

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04