¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

In your opinion, what is the healthiest Korean dish?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*±¹
2021-04-06 753

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There are many healthy Korean dish. I understand the healthiest Korean dish among all Korean food is the Jib Bab. It means a home meal that made in home. It is made by mother in particular, and it is composed of rice food and side dish. The food which buy at restaurant is sometimes so delicious, but it is not healthful to our body. The owner of shop often uses a harmful product to make a sweet taste. But mother do not use it for their family. It is the why Jib Bab is the healthiest Korean dish.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Sir Mandeep! Thank you for taking time in answering the question. Here are some of the corrections, but other than that, I think you really did great. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


There are many healthy Korean dish.
>> There are many healthy Korean dishes.
OR >> There are various healthy Korean dishes.

I understand the healthiest Korean dish among all Korean food is the Jib Bab. 
>> I understand the healthiest Korean dish among all Korean food is Jib Bab. 

It means a home meal that made in home. 
>> This is a home-made meal.

It is made by mother in particular, and it is composed of rice food and side dish.
>> Mothers usually cook it, and it it made of rice and side dishes.

The food which buy at restaurant is sometimes so delicious, but it is not healthful to our body. 
>> The food we buy in the restaurant is sometimes delicious, but not healthy for our body.

The owner of shop often uses a harmful product to make a sweet taste.
>> Shop owners often use harmful products to make the food sweet, but moms don't use it, for the sake of her family's health.

But mother do not use it for their family. 
>> Shop owners often use harmful products to make the food sweet, but moms don't use it, for the sake of her family's health.

It is the why Jib Bab is the healthiest Korean dish.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106857 Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at us... Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 3560
106856 Homework (247) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 3200
106855 The biggest change this world needs. ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 3499
106854 Do you think violence is needed to discipline a child? Why or... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 4
106853 If you had the chance to change your name, would you do it? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 3017
106852 What makes you happy? ¹Ú*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 3989
106851 Interview question ±Ç*½Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 2
106850 Failure makes me better! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 3081
106849 The best season for trip ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 2
106848 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 2890
106847 homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 2
106846 What is the first thing you search about the company you want to... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 3154
106845 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 2773
106844 0323 Àå*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 2
106843 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 5
106842 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 2
106841 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 3123
106840 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 3315
106839 I am very thank you for my parents, because they give me a lot... ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 4081
106838 Do you think different colors have different meanings? If so,... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-23 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04