¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

In your opinion, what is the healthiest Korean dish?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*±¹
2021-04-06 855

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There are many healthy Korean dish. I understand the healthiest Korean dish among all Korean food is the Jib Bab. It means a home meal that made in home. It is made by mother in particular, and it is composed of rice food and side dish. The food which buy at restaurant is sometimes so delicious, but it is not healthful to our body. The owner of shop often uses a harmful product to make a sweet taste. But mother do not use it for their family. It is the why Jib Bab is the healthiest Korean dish.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Sir Mandeep! Thank you for taking time in answering the question. Here are some of the corrections, but other than that, I think you really did great. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


There are many healthy Korean dish.
>> There are many healthy Korean dishes.
OR >> There are various healthy Korean dishes.

I understand the healthiest Korean dish among all Korean food is the Jib Bab. 
>> I understand the healthiest Korean dish among all Korean food is Jib Bab. 

It means a home meal that made in home. 
>> This is a home-made meal.

It is made by mother in particular, and it is composed of rice food and side dish.
>> Mothers usually cook it, and it it made of rice and side dishes.

The food which buy at restaurant is sometimes so delicious, but it is not healthful to our body. 
>> The food we buy in the restaurant is sometimes delicious, but not healthy for our body.

The owner of shop often uses a harmful product to make a sweet taste.
>> Shop owners often use harmful products to make the food sweet, but moms don't use it, for the sake of her family's health.

But mother do not use it for their family. 
>> Shop owners often use harmful products to make the food sweet, but moms don't use it, for the sake of her family's health.

It is the why Jib Bab is the healthiest Korean dish.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105941 Homework (227) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1033
105940 The part of my childhood that I remember the most ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1079
105939 Reason for study hard ¼±*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1128
105938 Part2 - The article divided into two parts because of word\'s... Á¤*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1151
105937 Part1 - The article divided into two parts because of word\'s... Á¤*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1101
105936 A tragic accident ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 981
105935 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1069
105934 What do you think is the most important thing when dealing with... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1211
105933 If you could change anything about your country, what would you... ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1304
105932 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1102
105931 [2/19]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1
105930 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1
105929 2 situations that make me angry °û*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1199
105928 LIVE and LEAVE. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1020
105927 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1
105926 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1134
105925 What is your best personality trait? Give at least three... ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1024
105924 What healthy food is your favorite? Why? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1740
105923 I have been a halloween party when I was in Florida. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1192
105922 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04