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영작교정 게시판

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Some believe it is important for cities and towns to invest heavily in building large outdoor public

작성자: 황*하
2021-04-07 620

회원님의 영작문

We can easily check how many buildings are in metropolitan area around the world on the google map. I think its already enough there. It cause house price hike because people would like to live as close as their company which are located in the big cities. Based on law of demand and supply, it is natural phenomenon. My country is small but we have enough spaces to build houses in countrysides. So, government should supply houses for people in rural areas. There are grounds designated by government that can't be developed, because there are few areas left in Seoul. If we build buildings as many as we can, we can't breath in this area. There should be forest each area and mountains to keep people's health. However, it's not easy to solve the house problem unless we invest infrastructure such as public transportation. Many people already commute from far away to Seoul although it takes long time. It is because of house price in Seoul. If major companies move out to rural area, it is one

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there Mr. Hwang~! ^^ Thank you for doing your homework. Honestly, of all the essay questions I have given. I'm not sure if there are some which were already given before. kkk Anwyay, thanks for being expressive though!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
We can easily check how many buildings are in metropolitan areas around the world on the google map.
>>> CORRECT
 I think its already enough there.
>>> CORRECT
 It caused house price hike because people would like to live as close as their company which are located in the big cities. 
>>> CORRECT
Based on law of demand and supply, it is natural phenomenon. 
>>> Based on the law of demand and supply, this is a natural phenomenon. 
My country is small but we have enough spaces to build houses in countryside. 
>>> CORRECT
So, government should supply houses for people in rural areas. 
>>> So, the government should provide houses for people in rural areas. 
There are grounds designated by government that can't be developed, because there are a few areas left in Seoul. 
>>> CORRECT
If we build buildings as many as we can, we can't breath in this area. 
>>> If we construct buildings as many as we can, we can't breath in this area. 
There should be forest each area and mountains to keep people's health.
>>> There should be forests and mountains in each area to keep people's health.
 However, it's not easy to solve the house problem unless we invest infrastructure such as public transportation.
>>>  However, it's not easy to solve the housing problem unless we invest in infrastructure such as public transportation.
 Many people already commute from far away to Seoul although it takes long time.
>>>  Many people are already commuting far from Seoul and it takes them a long time.
 It is because of house price in Seoul. 
>>>  It is because of the house price in Seoul. 
If major companies move out to rural area, it is one... 
>>> If major companies move out to rural areas, it will be...
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