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영작교정 게시판

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Nowadays there is a growing trend of private car ownership. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvant

작성자: 황*하
2021-04-09 718

회원님의 영작문

It was my father's dream to have his own car about 30 years ago. There weren't a television and a telephone in my house at that time. Even public transportation, the time table of it was quite long between buses. However, people can afford to purchase a car at least more than one car in each household these day and the second hands market has been growing a lot. It makes people buy cheaper car than new car. Although, the public transportation lines has been extended around nation to various way, most people would like to have their own car because of its advantage such as comfort, fast and convenience. I have bought my first car in my 30s. It was second hand car. I regretted to buy it because there are a lot of things that I have to pay from taxes to consumable expenses. The oil prices were also burden for me because the price of it in Korea is quite expensive. We import it all from overseas. But I think that having a car definitely has advantage for people except money matters.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

HAPPY MONDAY MR. HWANG!
In order to master a field, you must love the subject and feel a profound connection to it. Your interest must transcend the field itself and border on the religious.
All good work requires self-revelation~!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
***********************
It was my father's dream to have his own car about 30 years ago.
>>> CORRECT
 There weren't a television and a telephone in my house at that time.
>>>  There weren't a television nor a telephone in my house at that time.
 Even public transportation, the time table of it was quite long between buses.
>>> CORRECT
 However, people can afford to purchase a car at least more than one car in each household these days and the second hands market has been growing a lot.
>>> CORRECT
It makes people buy cheaper cars than new cars. 
>>> CORRECT
Although, the public transportation lines has been extended around nation to various ways, most people would like to have their own car because of its advantage such as comfort, fast and convenience.
>>> CORRECT
 I have bought my first car in my 30s.
>>> CORRECT
 It was second hand car. 
>>>  It was a second hand car. 
I regretted to buy it because there are a lot of things that I have to pay from taxes to consumable expenses. 
>>> CORRECT
The oil prices were also a burden for me because the price of it in Korea is quite expensive. 
>>> CORRECT
We import it all from overseas. 
>>> CORRECT
But I think that having a car definitely has advantage for people except money matters.
>>> CORRECT
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02
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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