¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-04-09 390

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Do you think it's important to get physical education in school? Why or why not?
-> I think it's important to get physical education in the school because of students' health.
If we do exercise, our health will be healthier than before.
And if we don't do any kinds of exercises, it will be very bad to our bodies.
And also it can cause some problem such as obesity.
But if the schools get physical education, students don't have to worry about these problem.
And it will be more good for student's mood.
In fact, if we do exercise, our bodies secrete endorphins so our mood can be very good.
That's why I think it's important to get physical education in the school because of students' health.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! That's true! Physical education is as important as other subjects in school. It should not be neglected. It can help us a lot in terms of keeping fit and being athletic. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think it's important to get physical education in the school because of students' health.
>> CORRECT

If we do exercise, our health will be healthier than before.
>> If we do exercise, our health will be better. 

And if we don't do any kinds of exercises, it will be very bad to our bodies.
>> If we don't, it will be bad for our bodies. 

And also it can cause some problem such as obesity.
>> It can cause some problem such as obesity.

But if the schools get physical education, students don't have to worry about these problem.
>> But if schools offer physical education, students don't have to worry about these problem.

And it will be more good for student's mood.
>> It will also be good for student's mood. 

In fact, if we do exercise, our bodies secrete endorphins so our mood can be very good.
>>In fact, if we do exercise, our bodies secretes endorphins so our mood can be very good.

That's why I think it's important to get physical education in the school because of students' health. 
>>That's why I think it's important to get physical education in schools.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107882 Are the drivers in your area where you live good drivers? ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 620
107881 What are the pros and cons of living in the capital city? ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 695
107880 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 1
107879 What do you want to here most from a friend who is closing a... ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 850
107878 What is the most beautiful country in the world? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 646
107877 I would like to visit Canada ¾È*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 3
107876 Report(4) ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 704
107875 Report(3) ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 593
107874 Report ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 729
107873 Report(1) ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 574
107872 Do you ever wish you could go back in time and be a little kid... ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 569
107871 After 10 years of my life ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-25 2
107870 Home work(4.23) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-04-25 908
107869 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-25 2
107868 Describe the worst trip you ever took. Where did you go? What... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-25 628
107867 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-25 3
107866 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-25 1
107865 How far is your hometown from the capital? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-25 722
107864 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-24 3
107863 HOMEWORK ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-24 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04