¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-04-09 458

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Do you think it's important to get physical education in school? Why or why not?
-> I think it's important to get physical education in the school because of students' health.
If we do exercise, our health will be healthier than before.
And if we don't do any kinds of exercises, it will be very bad to our bodies.
And also it can cause some problem such as obesity.
But if the schools get physical education, students don't have to worry about these problem.
And it will be more good for student's mood.
In fact, if we do exercise, our bodies secrete endorphins so our mood can be very good.
That's why I think it's important to get physical education in the school because of students' health.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! That's true! Physical education is as important as other subjects in school. It should not be neglected. It can help us a lot in terms of keeping fit and being athletic. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think it's important to get physical education in the school because of students' health.
>> CORRECT

If we do exercise, our health will be healthier than before.
>> If we do exercise, our health will be better. 

And if we don't do any kinds of exercises, it will be very bad to our bodies.
>> If we don't, it will be bad for our bodies. 

And also it can cause some problem such as obesity.
>> It can cause some problem such as obesity.

But if the schools get physical education, students don't have to worry about these problem.
>> But if schools offer physical education, students don't have to worry about these problem.

And it will be more good for student's mood.
>> It will also be good for student's mood. 

In fact, if we do exercise, our bodies secrete endorphins so our mood can be very good.
>>In fact, if we do exercise, our bodies secretes endorphins so our mood can be very good.

That's why I think it's important to get physical education in the school because of students' health. 
>>That's why I think it's important to get physical education in schools.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106592 The reason why childhood memory is important À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 1
106591 homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 12
106590 What foods do you think you\'d find impossible to give up? ½Å*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 3416
106589 What are the pros and cons of working out? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 4794
106588 HW °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 0
106587 COVID-19 won\'t be the last pandemic of our lifetime À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 1
106586 How to protect yourself from fine dust, spring\'s unwelcome guest À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 1
106585 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 5361
106584 What is the importance of having time with your family? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 2
106583 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 1
106582 zz º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 1
106581 Homework 3.16 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 4001
106580 In most of the countries, people prefer to live in a rented... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 4949
106579 Which is your favorite sense? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 4005
106578 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 1
106577 Homework should be limited Á¤*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 4840
106576 family time ¼³*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 4430
106575 COMPOSITION º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 1
106574 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 1
106573 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04