¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-04-09 505

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Do you think it's important to get physical education in school? Why or why not?
-> I think it's important to get physical education in the school because of students' health.
If we do exercise, our health will be healthier than before.
And if we don't do any kinds of exercises, it will be very bad to our bodies.
And also it can cause some problem such as obesity.
But if the schools get physical education, students don't have to worry about these problem.
And it will be more good for student's mood.
In fact, if we do exercise, our bodies secrete endorphins so our mood can be very good.
That's why I think it's important to get physical education in the school because of students' health.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! That's true! Physical education is as important as other subjects in school. It should not be neglected. It can help us a lot in terms of keeping fit and being athletic. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think it's important to get physical education in the school because of students' health.
>> CORRECT

If we do exercise, our health will be healthier than before.
>> If we do exercise, our health will be better. 

And if we don't do any kinds of exercises, it will be very bad to our bodies.
>> If we don't, it will be bad for our bodies. 

And also it can cause some problem such as obesity.
>> It can cause some problem such as obesity.

But if the schools get physical education, students don't have to worry about these problem.
>> But if schools offer physical education, students don't have to worry about these problem.

And it will be more good for student's mood.
>> It will also be good for student's mood. 

In fact, if we do exercise, our bodies secrete endorphins so our mood can be very good.
>>In fact, if we do exercise, our bodies secretes endorphins so our mood can be very good.

That's why I think it's important to get physical education in the school because of students' health. 
>>That's why I think it's important to get physical education in schools.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106021 Are there days when you just enjoy having a good cry for no... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 4123
106020 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 2718
106019 Why do we need clothes? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 3343
106018 Homework0225 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 3174
106017 What was the last tragic? È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1
106016 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 3543
106015 Correct answer. º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 3700
106014 Is having a convenience store near your house good? Why? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 4150
106013 Which one is better, having three eyes or justone eye? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 4004
106012 We need clocks because of a comfortable life. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 5628
106011 What`s the most memorable vacation you`ve had? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 4519
106010 What is something that you would have a hard time giving up and... ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 4003
106009 My happy ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 3
106008 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 4285
106007 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 3359
106006 Brawl stars ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 3854
106005 About my dreams ¼±*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 3750
106004 Please write three things you and your friends have in common ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1
106003 What is a successful life? What habits should you have to have a... È«*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1
106002 Will you keep up with the current events? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1319

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04