¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My opinion about physical education in school

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ø
2021-04-09 577

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, I think. Because only sitting down on a chair is not good for our health. We should often move our body. Students should grow up so I think it¡¯s helpful for their growth. And I think it can also relieve their stress.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Heidi! That's true! Physical education is as important as other subjects in school. It should not be neglected. It can help us a lot in terms of keeping fit and being athletic. 

 Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

Yes, I think. Because only sitting down on a chair is not good for our health. 
>> Yes, I think because only sitting down is not good for our health. 

We should often move our body.
>> CORRECT

Students should grow up so I think it¡¯s helpful for their growth. 
>> Students grow up and this would be beneficial for their growth. 

And I think it can also relieve their stress.
>> And I also think that it can relieve stress. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107878 What is the most beautiful country in the world? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 671
107877 I would like to visit Canada ¾È*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 3
107876 Report(4) ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 738
107875 Report(3) ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 609
107874 Report ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 744
107873 Report(1) ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 583
107872 Do you ever wish you could go back in time and be a little kid... ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 587
107871 After 10 years of my life ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-25 2
107870 Home work(4.23) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-04-25 915
107869 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-25 2
107868 Describe the worst trip you ever took. Where did you go? What... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-25 646
107867 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-25 3
107866 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-25 1
107865 How far is your hometown from the capital? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-25 735
107864 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-24 3
107863 HOMEWORK ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-24 2
107862 Do you ever wish you could go back in time and be a little kid... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-24 2
107861 What is the impact of the current pandemic on your company? À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-24 1
107860 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-24 3
107859 Draft Report3, ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-24 572

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04