¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My opinion about physical education in school

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ø
2021-04-09 617

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, I think. Because only sitting down on a chair is not good for our health. We should often move our body. Students should grow up so I think it¡¯s helpful for their growth. And I think it can also relieve their stress.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Heidi! That's true! Physical education is as important as other subjects in school. It should not be neglected. It can help us a lot in terms of keeping fit and being athletic. 

 Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

Yes, I think. Because only sitting down on a chair is not good for our health. 
>> Yes, I think because only sitting down is not good for our health. 

We should often move our body.
>> CORRECT

Students should grow up so I think it¡¯s helpful for their growth. 
>> Students grow up and this would be beneficial for their growth. 

And I think it can also relieve their stress.
>> And I also think that it can relieve stress. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106692 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 0
106691 dialogue ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 4835
106690 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 1
106689 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 4161
106688 My dream house Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 4550
106687 Do you think it would be a good idea to have 3 days worth of... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 2
106686 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 0
106685 please help me ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 1
106684 What unusual habits do you observe in your family members? Do... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 3847
106683 How can you cope with your bad habits? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 4262
106682 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 3918
106681 Script ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 3
106680 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 3
106679 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 6
106678 Tell me something about your hometown. Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 3452
106677 homework ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 5621
106676 [03/12]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 2
106675 Do you think it would be a good idea to have 3 days worth of... Á¤*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 2
106674 Homework (243) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 4199
106673 What do you think will happen if your country is overpopulated? ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-17 4460

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04