¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My opinion about physical education in school

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ø
2021-04-09 666

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, I think. Because only sitting down on a chair is not good for our health. We should often move our body. Students should grow up so I think it¡¯s helpful for their growth. And I think it can also relieve their stress.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Heidi! That's true! Physical education is as important as other subjects in school. It should not be neglected. It can help us a lot in terms of keeping fit and being athletic. 

 Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

Yes, I think. Because only sitting down on a chair is not good for our health. 
>> Yes, I think because only sitting down is not good for our health. 

We should often move our body.
>> CORRECT

Students should grow up so I think it¡¯s helpful for their growth. 
>> Students grow up and this would be beneficial for their growth. 

And I think it can also relieve their stress.
>> And I also think that it can relieve stress. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106488 Why are some sports expensive? Are they for everyone? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4500
106487 My diary ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4866
106486 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 5151
106485 Something that I want to change about my house ¼³*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 5531
106484 homework ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 5051
106483 Why do people need friends? What can happen if a person has no... È«*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4
106482 [03/10]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 1
106481 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 7
106480 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 0
106479 Why do people use SNS? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4935
106478 [03/09]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 2
106477 2021.03.11 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 5617
106476 Homework0311 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4755
106475 The thing I want to change if I can change something in my house ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4270
106474 Homework (239) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4471
106473 I want to have two rooms. Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 2
106472 The history of a country is our existence and foundation. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4376
106471 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 0
106470 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 0
106469 homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04