¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My worst and best trips ever.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿Â
2021-04-11 624

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My best trip was the one to Ulsan when I was 20.
I saw the beach which has many cafes next to it.
At night, there was also many fireworks on that time.
It seemed that it made me a main character in the movie.

There has not been worst trip.
All the trips were meaningful for me.
And all the views were beatiful.
The nature always gave me new energy to live on.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you Juliet!

I do love nature, too. :) 

~Teacher James

My best trip was the one to Ulsan when I was 20.
>>> CORRECT
I saw the beach which has many cafes next to it.
>>> CORRECT
At night, there was also many fireworks on that time.
>>> At night, there were also many fireworks at that time.
It seemed that it made me a main character in the movie.
>>> CORRECT
There has not been worst trip.
>>> There has not been the worst trip.
All the trips were meaningful for me.
>>> CORRECT
And all the views were beatiful.
>>> And all the views were beautiful.
The nature always gave me new energy to live on.
>>> Nature always gave me new energy to live on. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106496 2021.03.12 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 3561
106495 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 3747
106494 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4526
106493 Write about your ideal spring vacation ¿À*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 5821
106492 The importance of salary in choosing a job °­*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4891
106491 At least 97 women killed by husbands, boyfirends last year À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 0
106490 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 1
106489 Describe a risk you have taken which had a positive result ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4541
106488 Why are some sports expensive? Are they for everyone? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4482
106487 My diary ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4818
106486 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 5103
106485 Something that I want to change about my house ¼³*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 5520
106484 homework ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 5018
106483 Why do people need friends? What can happen if a person has no... È«*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4
106482 [03/10]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 1
106481 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 7
106480 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 0
106479 Why do people use SNS? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4877
106478 [03/09]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 2
106477 2021.03.11 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 5555

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04