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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Society is based on rules and laws. It could not function if individuals were free to do whatever th

작성자: 황*하
2021-04-15 638

회원님의 영작문

If there are no rules in society, I can't expect what will happen. There are freedom as a member of society such as freedom of speech, publication, assembly and religion. These freedom allow people to do most of things in their lives. If people keep the laws exactly, we don't have to make it and don't need to put people in the jail. However, there are always few people breaking the law due to their personal desire in any society. Many social activists insist that criminals can be prevented from the proper education rather send them to the jail. I partially agree with it because there are still a lot of crimes happened in the world even though all countries have their own law to prevent crimes which are different among the countries. In Korea, we haven't carried out death penalty for a long time even if there have been terrible murder crime happened frequently. Recently, it was shocked that criminals created sexual video of teenagers and shared it on the SNS. They also have threatened

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY MR. HWANG~! ^^
Fridays are so awesome that every day in the week should be Fridays.
Enjoy your studies!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
***********************
If there are no rules in society, I can't expect what will happen.
>>> CORRECT
 There are freedom as a member of society such as freedom of speech, publication, assembly and religion.
>>> CORRECT
 These freedom allow people to do most of things in their lives. 
>>>  These freedom allow people to do most of the things in their lives. 
If people keep the laws exactly, we don't have to make it and don't need to put people in jail. 
>>> CORRECT
However, there are always few people breaking the law due to their personal desire in any society. 
>>> However, there are always a few people breaking the law due to their personal desire in the society. 
Many social activists insist that criminals can be prevented from the proper education rather send them to the jail.
>>> Many social activists insist that criminals can be prevented from getting proper education rather sending them to jail.
 I partially agree with it because there are still a lot of crimes happened in the world even though all countries have their own law to prevent crimes which are different among the countries.
>>>  I partially agree with it because there are still a lot of crimes happening in the world even though all countries have their own law to prevent crimes which are different among countries.
 In Korea, we haven't carried out death penalty for a long time even if there have been terrible murder crime happened frequently. 
>>>  In Korea, we haven't carried out death penalty for a long time even if there have been terrible murder crimes happening frequently. 
Recently, it was shocked that criminals created sexual video of teenagers and shared it on the SNS. 
>>> Recently, it was shocking that criminals created sexual video of teenagers and shared it on SNS. 
They also have threatened... 
>>> CORRECT
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
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04

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