¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¾Æ
2021-04-16 619

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I agree to a certain extent.
Thease days, parent is too busy to difficult care about their's children.
So, it is helpful for their's grandparent and uncle, aunt to help.
Also children can learn about manners from their's grandparent.
And they get sense of closeness.
Therefore, the advantages are bigger than disadvantages, it is helpful to upbring is very useful to parent and children.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Eden! Thanks for doing the homework today! I appreciate your effort so keep it up! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I agree to a certain extent.
>>> CORRECT
Thease days, parent is too busy to difficult care about their's children.
>>> These days, parents are too busy to take care of their children.
So, it is helpful for their's grandparent and uncle, aunt to help.
>>> So, there is a need for their grandparents uncle, and aunt to help.
Also children can learn about manners from their's grandparent.
>>> Also, children can learn about good manners from their grandparents.
And they get sense of closeness.
>>> CORRECT
Therefore, the advantages are bigger than disadvantages, it is helpful to upbring is very useful to parent and children.
>>>Therefore, the advantages are bigger than the disadvantages, it is helpful to up bring children by their parents.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107583 What was the most interesting thing you have ever seen? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 495
107582 The stability of a company is uncertain. How will you manage... À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 1
107581 If you could change nationality, which other nationality would... ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 633
107580 Where do you live? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 614
107579 If I go outer space, I want to visit mars. ¼±*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 626
107578 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 1
107577 What do you think of all the fad diets that come on the market? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 569
107576 interview q ±Ç*½Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 0
107575 Assignment º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 1
107574 My favorite fictional character ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 751
107573 Homework (263) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 534
107572 My vacation Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 584
107571 [04/14]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 1
107570 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 598
107569 Homework (4.14) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 575
107568 Work email3 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 0
107567 Work email2 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 0
107566 Work email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 0
107565 Is homeschooling an effective method of education? Why or why... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 356
107564 What is the best memory you have in school when you were still... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 492

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04