¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¾Æ
2021-04-16 665

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I agree to a certain extent.
Thease days, parent is too busy to difficult care about their's children.
So, it is helpful for their's grandparent and uncle, aunt to help.
Also children can learn about manners from their's grandparent.
And they get sense of closeness.
Therefore, the advantages are bigger than disadvantages, it is helpful to upbring is very useful to parent and children.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Eden! Thanks for doing the homework today! I appreciate your effort so keep it up! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I agree to a certain extent.
>>> CORRECT
Thease days, parent is too busy to difficult care about their's children.
>>> These days, parents are too busy to take care of their children.
So, it is helpful for their's grandparent and uncle, aunt to help.
>>> So, there is a need for their grandparents uncle, and aunt to help.
Also children can learn about manners from their's grandparent.
>>> Also, children can learn about good manners from their grandparents.
And they get sense of closeness.
>>> CORRECT
Therefore, the advantages are bigger than disadvantages, it is helpful to upbring is very useful to parent and children.
>>>Therefore, the advantages are bigger than the disadvantages, it is helpful to up bring children by their parents.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107334 Giving a life-changing advice to someone. ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 764
107333 Homework (258) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 894
107332 Who is your role model in your life? Why? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 1142
107331 What are the good things about the educational system in Korea? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 0
107330 I... Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 1
107329 My mind ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 2
107328 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 537
107327 My suggestion letter in my business. À±*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 1
107326 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 3
107325 [04/07]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 633
107324 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 891
107323 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 676
107322 Simple, but pretty~^^ ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 725
107321 Fill in the blanks. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 792
107320 Have or has Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 632
107319 What would you change about your life if you could? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 1
107318 What are the personality and physical differences between you... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 1
107317 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 503
107316 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 677
107315 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04